kaisou | I'm seeing Double

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I'm seeing Double

WHO: Wolfwood, Vash the Stampede, and Lighter Lorenz
WHERE: In a nice sit-down restaurant in Kaisou, some jungle theme restaurant
WHEN: Late June
WHAT: Vash bought a date voucher that included a chaperone--while anyone else would see this as awkward, vash has seen it as a bonus as they get to make a new friend.
WARNINGS: Idiocy abound.

[ it'll be around 1pm in the afternoon when Wolfwood will get a text from Vash. It's in his usual, excitable text that's badly spelled due to his inability to type with both hands--but wolfwood should be used to this by now.

he's just leaving the gacha goodwill with a neat voucher in hand, the sketchy guy who ran the place saying something like --"don't worry about it, I'll have the other party called and sent to the location the ticket says. Enjoy your dinner."

This sounded fine to the humanoid typhoon. It'd sound insane to anyone else. ]

yah i hav about 3hr before my shift @ the vogue n u said u had some courier job w/dantes brother around that same time yeah
lets get lunch while we're both in the city then!!!! my treat
i got a cool voucher from the goodwill that says we'll get free appetizers w/it?

its gonna be in a Rainforest Cafe too, those places always look so fun u kno

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[ a while back, wolfwood got a weird power that let him hear the wordless music that he and Kni could use to communicate with one another. ever since, wolfwood has had a strange, detuned-radio buzz about him even when he was asleep, and yet this man is.... absolutely silent. Huh? Huh? ....Huh?? ]

Hey, Nick, you said you'd be a minute so--How'd you?? Get here before me??

[There sure is a sunglasses wearing man waiting at your table! Scrolling through his phone, maybe texting some folks. The kind of things anyone in this day and age would do while waiting.

But when said man practically heard someone rushing to him like a cartoon stampede (ha), he turned around with his guard up.

Only to see an unfamiliar person approach him, arms raised as if in a hug but someone pressed the pause button. And Lighter is just... staring at him.

There's a flash in his mind of someone else he knew that moved in such a comical way. Only a flash as it was overpowered by sheer fucking confusion. Obviously this guy wasn't out here to throw hands. And was looking for someone that... was not Lighter.

But Christ on a Bike this is awkward. Lighter was just waiting for the clients for this job!! If they come around this is going to look so strange.

The time has come. For Lorenzo's Ace in the Hole.]

Uhh... Lo siento, pero no hablo inglés.

[ ...Those words hit him full force and his brain does not comprehend them. brain of a supercomputer this one--and yet, not a single word that escapes Lighter's mouth comes with a modicum of understanding for poor mr. the stampede.

his arms come down in a sort of noodly way, snapping to his sides in a comical fashion as he gets it instantly: this man is not wolfwood. even though you could really convince him that it was. both his deep, rumbling voice and the way his eyes barely peeked out from behind those thick, wayfarer shades.

he instantly bows, crooking his body in a nearly perfect upside-down L shape as he apologises. ]

--Oh mygod I'm so sorry I SWEAR you were a friend of mine, I--I came here to meet him for dinner with a chaperone and--sheesh this is awkward, you--

You look JUST like him! Seriously! You could be his twin! At the very least his brother! What the heck, dude!!

[ yeah this rambling is definitely familiar, isn't it? But. he then pauses, poking his fingers together, one arm moving a little disjointedly from the other, the fingers mechanical in nature. ]

--I uh. Just. It's that. I was told that my table'd be the one with the flag, so... --why am I still talking, you probably don't even speak English, I'm so sorry.

[ sorry lighter this IS your client ]

[Uh oh, this guy's panicking now. Lighter felt kind of bad, but he did need to not look like a complete weirdo if he was gonna be ~~third-wheeling~~ chaperoning this date. He convinced himself that it was in the name of professional decorum.

But with the confusion sort of evening out and this guy's rapid flailing and tone changing on a dime from cheerful to confused to demoralized.

... It made Lighter's chest ache. He finally remembered Billy's name thanks to Anby, but.

Remembering someone meant missing them even more.

But, that was for later Lorenzo to contend with. It's weird as hell that someone apparently looks just like him while this guy seems so much like Billy it]

[Wait, he mentioned the flag! The flag that Lighter was told to have brought to the table!]

Oh, you're the client! [He pulled out the little card with the given names.]

Vash, I'm guessing. Sorry about that, I do speak English. I didn't mean to lie, I was just making sure someone I didn't know kept away from your table.

Oh, I'm the client... [ Vash mirrors the others' words perfectly as he suddenly goes stock straight, stopping dead with his flailing and over-explaining as it seems the misunderstanding was suddenly the elephant in the room (it trumpets loudly over the sound of the jungle music) and it was going out the window.

Maybe a normal person would be upset that Lighter pretended not to speak english, or to try to have chased him off--but not Vash. Nope. He goes from confused and upset and apologetic to immediately all smiles--even reaching out one of his hands to shake Lighter's as if none of that awkward stuff just happened. Nope. ]

Omigod, Hi, then. I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding! Gosh, you really do look just like my best buddy--you'll see when he gets here, you'll see!! [ this is a threat. ] You were just doing all of that to protect my table?? You're a really cool guy after all, then. I knew it was the best idea to buy this whole 'make a new buddy' ticket. Or whatever it was called. I don't even remember.

Vash the Stampede!! And your name is? [ ...is he . maybe he's... wolfwood's reincarnation in this world...? ]

It's pretty wild that I look so much like your buddy you nearly got me in a bear hug like that. But hey, it's a small world and a lot of people look alike.

[At the very least, Lighter was glad that Vash wasn't offended. He'll at least sit with that relief so he doesn't have to heed this pain in his heart. If Vash was anything like who he resembled to Lighter, he was a nice person.]

I take my work seriously, even if it's just making sure some stranger doesn't take up your table.

[And also he's being paid by the weird Goodwill Guy. Still not his shadiest payment source, honestly.]

"Vash the Stampede", huh? That's a really cool name. Lorenzo's mine, Lorenzo Fuentes. But just call me Lighter.

[Said in the most deliberate and coolest possible tone he could muster!! He must also be cool!]

Trust me! When you see him you'll totally understand why I went for the hug, I promise.
It's like. Totally uncanny!!!

[ dont mind if he sits down hey buddy we're gonna become friends now. ]

I thought it was a pretty strange concept, a coupon for a meal at a cool looking restaurant with a new friend... I really don't know why most people avoided grabbing it, it sounded great to me.

[ watch his eyes sparkle for a moment tho ]

Lighter is a way cooler name! Stampede just came from--you know, how like, when people give you a bad nickname and you sort of just get so used to it that you reclaim it? That's the sort of name it is.

Heh, I admit I'm curious to meet this guy who looks just like me!

[It will only lead poor Lighter down a confusing rabbit hole conspiracy he didn't have a clue about.]

I thought it was strange too, but when the Shopkeeper approached me about it I thought it was an easy enough job. Far be it for me to turn easy money down.

[Get that bread, Lighter. His smile weakened just a bit learning why Vash is called "the Stampede" but it held strong knowing the guy reclaimed it.]

I see. That's quite a reasoning. I guess "Lighter"'s kinda like that for me, too so I get where you're coming from. [In this life, anyway.]

Feel free to call me whatever you like, I don't mind either way.

He should be here any second now, he's got a motorcycle so he drives a little faster than cars. [ he won't include that Wolfwood also sometimes runs red lights bc there's no such thing as a red light in No Man's Land and sometimes you forget. ]

And hey! If you're getting paid for this, even better?? Make a new friend, have good food, and a payday? Who wouldn't be all for this sort of gig??

[ he's already looking the menu over, considering options that can be shared between three people. Nachos, Definitely... ]

Mmm. I'll call you Lighter, then. It's cool and easier to remember because of that.

[ and truth be told, Wolfwood was already there, having been... liberal about his application of speed limits and how many people go in a lane at a time. Kaisou's a fairly relaxed place most of the time, and Wolfwood's just a little more feral than it is so yeah. motorcycle ride done.

restaurant arrived at.

what the fuck.

so Wolfwood was there, but he was outside, having a cigarette and staring at the garish sign at the top of the restaurant, listening to the distant screeching of some sort of beast, and wondering just how much he actually cared about Vash being happy. carry two, divide by three, and then you get the other fiddly numbers in...

what the hell had that moron signed them up for?

when he finishes his cigarette and strengthens his resolve, he's gonna swing his leg over his bike like a man preparing to walk to the gallows, hands in his pockets as he shoulders into whateverthefuckishappeninghere and scans the restaurant to find his big red nuisance and...

himself from alibaba?

the fuck?? ]

[Speed limits are just a suggestion when there's no cops or children around. Lighter was in Wolfwood's shoes several minutes before Vash showed up, same bike same cigarette same mental preparation of an introvert variety except he's seen many a Rainforest Cafe.

They were having a nice chat when Lighter noticed...

...

Hm. He gestured towards Wolfwood when he entered.]

... That your guy?

[ here he is, ready to seriously fuck up this whole menu and order a round of burgers for the table, but. He instantly lifts his head as the other makes a gesture.

Vash is immediately turning around to look--and yep. Immediately, Vash's body language changes as both arms are going way above his head, to wave at Wolfwood. get over here!!! ]

Nico!!! Over here!!! We got the seat under the Elephants, look!

[ ... good lord it really is like looking at a pair of twins. Right down to the huge sunglasses. ]

[ speed limits are a suggestion when cops are around if you aren't a coward--but do be aware of the kids. they're the future, you know. much like Wolfwood himself--who is... staring at someone that registers as uncannily familiar in a way that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up, eyes narrowing behind his sunglasses.

let them think it's because Vash is putting on God's least impressive mating display. he didn't even bring blue.

dear Christian God, it's your boy, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, and something excruciatingly dumb is about to happen. give him strength. otherwise he'll look to the strength within, and that's a gun. ]

Stop hollerin', you loudmouth.

[ as he comes towards them all the same.

the Elephant does not lighten the mood. it has a judgemental face. ]

[Three men seated uncomfortably in the uncanny valley with an Elephant shouting in the background and a thunderstorm sound imminent at any moment.

Lighter's eyes similarly narrowed behind his sunglasses. Scrutinizing, silent, scanning the other man who arrived who while yes, is his client, is his "spitting image".

...

... Really?

Maybe if he looks harder he'll see what Vash is seeing. He was here to chaperone so there was time. And introductions were probably in store anyway.]

You're the one Vash was talkin' about, huh? Lorenzo's the name. I'm the guy hired to be with you both for this meal, but you can just call me Lighter. Vash's already decided he would, so may as well make it easier for all of us.

[God they even have similar cadences.]

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