kaisou | text; un: riftdancer

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amal vasiya

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WHO: Amal and you
WHERE: Gemini
WHEN: Nebulously mid May
WHAT: Amal got a present.
WARNINGS: FFXIV Heavensward spoilers. Will add more if needed.

[text;]

[Normally he likes video posts, but this one hits so close to home he's not sure he can stand it. So instead he posts a picture of a shield with a unicorn emblem. The shield is broken, victim of a spear of light piercing it through. Evocative. He has arranged a little shrine, temporarily, in one of the empty rooms of the house: the shield is cradled by white flowers to signify grief, as well as a little porcelain unicorn figurine.]

hey
any objections if i make a place for this on cathedral hill?
it belonged to someone i loved very much and i know im not the only one
without this person I would not be here today

haurchefant would've loved kaisou
he was a huge romantic and a true knight in shining silver armor
... wish i was half the hero he was.

anyway.......
it doesn't feel right to keep his shield in my house when i know he touched so many lives back in etheirys
im not sure ill ever go back so it feels fitting for him to watch over us here

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...Can, uh-

[An ear flicked uneasily, setting one unicorn sigil earring swinging.]

Can we all go 'n pick out a spot? If Rose 'n Takame're okay for that too.

[... He had to acknowledge it at some point, it seems. At the very least, he was glad Amal had picked it up. Takame simply was not strong enough in the moment and retreated from the strange Goodwill in a hurry.

He still lacked proper words, but at the very least:]

Please.

[it hurts]

[it still hurts]

I’d like that, as well.

There are probably a few others we need to ask.

Aye, if you know folk I don't we oughta let 'em in too.

We should probably include both Inwa and Ghilley. I don't know how much Ghilley remembers, or how well Inwa knew him, but it would be worth it to ask, I think.

yeah, i think getting everyone's input is important

let's make a list of two or three places we agree on in case something isn't available

[Oh. Varian remembers Amal telling him about Haurchefant. He sounded like a truly wonderful soul. Kind and loyal to the end. This has to be hurting his father a lot, and his heart aches for him- to be reminded of such a loss. ]

That sounds like a really nice idea, Dad. I'm sure the others would agree.

Hey. How about I cook dinner tonight? I'll stay with you- and you can tell me some more stories about him, if you like. I'd be happy to listen.

you were right-- it looks like we're all going to hold a meeting to decide

[Oh. Varian... wants to stay with him tonight? Amal realizes he might've worried a few people. ... But he won't say no flat out or laugh it off. He might not be the most consistent with phone therapy sessions now that Sorey's no longer in town, but...]

are you sure? i don't want to keep you away from your [what's the word people use] boo

I think that's a good idea. I know your guys world thing is... complicated, but from the looks of things, he mattered a lot to all of you. Hopefully you guys can find some solace with each other while you mourn him.

[ Varian is very worried. He loves Amal a lot and doesn't want him to be alone while he's hurting. ]

Of course. You're still my dad and I'm allowed to look after YOU sometimes. [There's a long pause here, Varian has never heard the word "boo" in any connotation but one (2): ] Um... we don't have any ghosts there, Dad. I mean, I'm pretty sure we don't, anyway.

thank you. i think in a way we all need this. things happened so fast during that time, we didn't really get a chance to stop and grieve the way we should have

[He doesn't know if anyone's ever sacrificed themselves to keep Varian safe and he sure doesn't want to bring that up right now, anyway.]

no no no, your boo! your beau! your fiance! i hear people talk like that all the time especially at the Vogue

but if you're sure, then i'd love to have dinner with you and we can talk about things

That makes sense. It's really sad that you lost him, but this does give you all a chance to say goodbye properly. And not have the fact you couldn't looming over you.

[There's a pause as Varian realises exactly what his father is getting at. ]

OH! Oh, that's what that means. I had no idea! Anyway, it's okay, you need me right now, and Jun will always understand that.

I'm very sure. I'll be home tonight- and if you need anything before then, just let me know, okay?

I doubt it will mean much coming from me, but—-

I think you are every bit as much as a hero as he was.

He’d be so proud of you, Amal.

[But he failed.

They all failed, though, and they all carry that weight. He decides not to argue, in the end.]

he'd be proud of all of us. we've all grown since we got here. experienced personal hells, weathered impossible odds, and stood back up anyway.....

he never took our strength for granted, though. he knew how fragile we could really be and never berated us for it. he just... protected us.... like always.

i will never forget that.

[Jun doesn't know anything about Haurchefant.... but that doesn't really matter. He can tell when there's people in grief, both from Amal- and the other Warriors of Lights in responding.]

I can talk to the clergy at the church. They have a cemetery up there, so maybe they can get a plot for him.

thanks, i do appreciate it. let me get together with the others and decide on a........ a short list of places, just in case they say no. i imagine we'll all be making our way to see him so we should put him somewhere we agree on

... are you sure it's ok even though he worshiped a goddess?

Mm, that makes sense.

Of course, there's plenty of non-catholics buried there. The Lord believes that care and respect for the dead should be extended to everyone, not just His followers.

that's actually awesome. the lord is awesome for that
i wouldn't have gotten mad if it wasn't allowed-- i know the hill's named for the cathedral, yknow? they were there first
but this is still really nice. and the cathedral is beautiful, i bet he'd be reminded of home

anyway i got some work to do. i'll keep in touch

Well, His compassion is one of the main reasons He's such a popular god.
I'm glad Haurchefant would like it. I'm pretty fond of the cathedral myself.

[He'll probably request to be cremated, as he rather there wasn't any trace of him when his time comes- as per Seal Knight tradition. But he wouldn't mind if his ashes were spread on that hill.]

Alright. Please feel free to reach out at anytime.
I'll talk to the priests as soon as I can.

If you or the others from your world are able to describe him well enough, I could try and paint him, if you'd like.

[He stares at this message for a long time.]

... if you could, i think

it would make a lot of us really happy.

I would be honored to try.

[It hurt every day. Haurchefant's last moment is one of Takame's many frequently occurring nightmares. He missed the man. Loved the man. Never thought that he would love again until Yusuke worked his way into Takame's heart.

Never thought he was worthy of that love. Takame knew he would never see "his" Haurchefant's grave again, never see the broken shield that protected him again.

To know a fragment of who he was will be in Kaisou as a memorial, though...

It was not the same. It never would be. All it needed to be was enough. Enough for Takame to speak to. Enough for every Warrior of Light that knew him to speak so. So again, Takame had few words but they were important words.]

Thank you, brother.

just doing what i can.

[That's all he can ever do, really.]

[ he doesn't know Haurchefant

so why does his chest hurt so much?

there's a sort of grief gathered in the back of his throat at the picture of that shield, tight and constricting, and his eyes burn with an ache that he can't place. there are--shards of a knowing inside of him, brief glimpses of mirror-glass in the place where the other resides, and he all but begs himself not to show him, to make it worse, to outline exactly what's been lost here in stark details, the phantom ache of fingers made calloused by bowstring, the heavy weight of a sagging companion strung across his shoulders as others ran forward to try and stop--

no. it's not his. he shouldn't take it. he couldn't put any sort of honor to something he's not sure he remembers.

but it still hurts. ]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[He responds to this one a little while later.]

it wasn't just my loss. the warrior of light's loss. the world's loss

maybe your loss too? i don't know you that well, but rose said you might be one of ours? in that case, sorry if you're only remembering it right now.

[ tbh he wasn't expecting a response. It's a little startling to get one--and his chest twists with guilt and the presence in his head goes silent, leaving him to dangle on this one all by himself. ]

It's a little confusing, I apologize for intruding. [ because it feels like a piece of him's been cut away, but it hasn't. He doesn't go here.

He shouldn't have said anything.

But that mournful sensation in the backs of his eyes weighs so heavy. ]

I was born and raised here, but there's a spirit that, um. Saved me. He calls himself a Warrior of Light. Sometimes his memories bleed into mine and what I'm feeling gets tangled up.

... But he really cared for the happiness of this person, I think. And he misses him too. Sorry.

Edited 2025-05-27 13:33 (UTC)

you're not intruding. even if it's just a voice in your head, you're still one of us. you've got memories, or maybe he does, whatever, it doesn't matter. important thing is, you've got a connection

don't apologize
you haven't done a single thing wrong. you're allowed to feel sad and confused and a little lost or whatever else you feel

gods know we all felt that way. maybe still do, a little more often than we'd like to admit

anyway. what do you think about cathedral hill? you don't have to visit him, but you deserve a say. if you have an alternate suggestion go ahead

[Ah....]

I wouldn't be opposed to you guys using the Anemo Archon Statue or the Shrine of Barbatos for it.

If needed, I can help find a spot that's open and free on Cathedral Hill.

Whatever kind of closure I can help give, it'd be my honor to celebrate the life of such a beloved knight.

Edited 2025-06-01 16:49 (UTC)

thanks venti 💗
i'll keep it in mind

we're still talking things over, but i think you could definitely help us find a spot. i know i wouldn't mind. you're a friend to so many of us

no doubt you would've charmed him, too.

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