video; un: photocutie

[trailblazingspirit]

WHO: March 7th and you! (and a cameo from Caleb.)
WHERE: network, Libra and Gemini!
WHEN: the 20th!
WHAT: BEHOLD, THE PROPHECIES HAVE BEEN GIVEN.
WARNINGS: mentions of spiders, some language.

[The camera feed opens on March, dressed in an utterly adorable coat, in front of a board that’s covered with what looks like old curtains. She’s wearing a pair of cat’s eye glasses that do absolutely nothing for her eyes except make her look cute, and she pushes them up the bridge of her nose. Rearranges the hat a bit to sit neater between her horns.]

Welcome to next month’s prophecy post, Libra! I know we have a few new people around, so hi, new people: every month, we seers talk about our visions or trances or tarot card readings or however we see the future, and we try to figure out what’s going to happen next month. So far we haven’t concretely figured anything out in advance, but having some idea what might happen is better than none. Anyway!

[She claps her hands together.]

Time for the prophecies~ [She pulls out her phone, and scrolls through the group chat.]

Grandma Cotton says that she tried to do something with red yarn, only, uh, “the ball would just unravel all over the living room!” Oh, I really hope it wasn’t too much of a mess.

Mx. Venti says, “The winds brought to me the sound of a train whistle for some reason.” Oh—like the Astral Express? If it shows up I have to show you guys my room!

Mx. Tarot Bailey did a card reading and got the Lovers, reversed. I thought it was cool at first, because anything about lovers has to be romantic, right? And then I got sent a picture of what was in the guidebook about it, and, uh, they said it’s about, hold on, “Disharmony, trust issues, imbalance, conflict, disconnection, lack of accountability, disunion, detachment.” [A beat. In the background, you can see Caleb rolling past on a chair.]

Jeez. That’s not very romantic, that’s just really sad.

Hoodie Guy—sorry, I didn’t get your name—sent me a picture of numbers in matcha powder! It’s funny, they were all in a series, like they were counting down.

Mr. Takame said something about a “Shaaloani,” but then I asked him what he meant and he was like, actually never mind, I saw this huge and super-hot desert all around me. I still don’t know what a Shaaloani is, does anybody have any idea? Google won’t tell me.

Mr. Wolfwood said, and I’m quoting him here, “it looked like the world's shittiest spider gave up on making a web after one strand.” Which is—I’m trying to think of what could possibly make a spider even worse now, and I’m coming up with…really gross pictures, yuck.

Caleb’s friend Ghilley said, [and she coughs before she does her absolute best to imitate Ghilley’s voice:] “It’s a song! You know, the song, with the 'word up everybody saaaay when you get the dah dah dah you get it underway word up bah bah code wooooord' and it was the band--you know, with the guy with the dreds and the beatboxing and in the music video the whole band got turned into these weird friggin' dogs and they were peein' on people and going to the world's saddest strip club and--are we gonna turn into ugly dogs? I don't want to be an ugly dog. What the hell is threatening about a song??” He says the lead singer is going to bring an army into Kaisou and we have to watch out for—uh, can someone tell me what a Hot Topic girlie, a Claire’s girlie, and a Forever21 girlie are?

…but I wouldn’t mind turning into a dog! I just don’t want to be an ugly dog, ew.

Ms. Ori got the same song! She says, “It’s called ‘Word Up’ but no there was another music video, and it looks like someone tried to use 3D Blender while high as hell,” and then she went ughhhh, the video doesn’t matter anyway. Well, actually she said, “the video doesn’t fucking matter,” but. Y’know. Maybe there’s a clue? And she and Ghilley were arguing with each other over whether we were going to be ugly dogs or someone’s beginner art project when I last checked. I’m kinda scared to check again.

Mr. Nito said, “I experienced much the same as Takame. Incidentally, were you aware that certain varieties of cacti are edible? Perhaps we will have the chance to grill some nopales in the midst of whatever is to come.” [Another long awkward beat. Caleb comes rolling past in the background again the other way.] What’s a nopales?

Anyway—Mr. Jinwoo says that his UI won’t close, and it has this number that can’t decide if it’s counting up or down. [Scratching her chin.] Maybe all our kitchen timers are going to break or something? Or we’re all in for really long waits at the train station, that too.

And here’s my prophecy! [March grabs hold of the curtain and yanks it off, to unveil a moodboard of photos of red string, all connected to each other with red string like a conspiracy board in a crime show. In the middle are the scrawled words “PEPE SILVIA”. March shrugs.] I don’t know who Pepe Silvia is. Trance me knows way more than conscious me, I think. Trance me also bought all the red yarn at the nearest craft store for this, so.

Anyway, that’s it for next month’s prophecies! If you’ll excuse me, I think I hear the creations doing something they really shouldn’t—

Comments

Libra and Gemini | UN: Pythia

[life_ethereal]

[Immediately after the prophecy post goes up, there's a response under an anonymous account known as Pythia.]

One to Two to Five to Three,
Each number deeply felt personally.
Higher is danger with safety in low,
Hundred to ten to nine to zero.

un: photocutie

[trailblazingspirit]

Oh gosh, we have a new seer?!

[life_ethereal]

🥰

un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

[... strange. And yet given what others have seen within the prophecies this month, this feels worthy of commenting on.]

Is this a prophecy? Something to do with the numbers that Jinwoo saw?

[life_ethereal]

👍🎯

text: un:kore

[aslowburn]

Brother.

Gemini Text | UN: DelicatelyFrail Private!

[life_ethereal]

😰

[And then she gets a private message from a different account. Harumasa's already met Dionysus and he might as well get it over with for the meeting with Persephone. It'll hurt now, but it'll be better in the long run if he just comes clean.]

Hi, how are you, my name's Harumasa and I don't really want any trouble or anything. Apollo's been... sharing my body, I suppose you could say, for almost 10 years.

Problem is that if Apollo uses me to talk to you, it could cause my illness to flare up and if it's cool with you, I'd like to just be a translator and not get caught in the middle of I don't know what's going on in the family.

[help help help help help help help]

text; un: doordasher

[doublethumbsup]

uh
hi

whyyyyyyy is persephone calling u "brother"??
whos this?

ok i mean i probs should kno but uh
new kid on the block sorry :(

Gemini Text | UN: DelicatelyFrail Private!

[life_ethereal]

[... Oh, Harumasa doesn't think he can bullshit his way out of this one. Not when it involves his 'connection' to Persephone. So he's just going to send a private text to Hermes.]

Right, so, hi, I'm Harumasa. She called me "brother" because she thought I was Apollo.

Understandable mistake! But I'm not. He's just... the entity that's possessing me! So he's sharing headspace with me. We talked about it and Persephone seems mostly chill with me.

video

[prunedworlds]

"So... Basically something weird happening because next month has Valentine's Day?"

Didn't that basically always happen?

[trailblazingspirit]

Iiiiii don't think I know what that is. We didn't really have something specifically called Valentine's Day, where I'm from.

[prunedworlds]

"Oh! It's basically like... romance? It's different here in America than in Japan, but both of them do lots of stuff with giving people you like chocolate and stuff. Last year here in Kaisou there was a whole spirit realm thing with helping out with Cupid's factory."

And related shenanigans.

text: UN:idontcare

[jaxoff]

...Are you talking about Korn???

[trailblazingspirit]

I think you misspelled corn, and also, no.

[jaxoff]

No, not corn the terrible food. Korn the band? That's the one with the people-faced dogs in the strip club.

Are the seer posts always like this? I thought our guys were bad, but this is a whole new level of unhinged.

text; un: DOINK!!!

[tonberrykin]

THAT'S THE BITCH

JONATHAN DAVIS IS COMING FOR KAISOU

[jaxoff]

Thank fk I thought I was going crazy for a second there.

Batten down the hatches for people-faced dogs everywhere I guess? Not the weirdest thing I've heard of here. Like maybe a solid 5?

text; un: DOINK!!!

[tonberrykin]

i'm telling you it's ugly dogs all the way down and tarantino filters
who cares about ugly 3d models unplug the computer and the problem's dealt with, but dogs?
you gotta kick dogs
and who wants to kick dogs?

text | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

Just feed them bacon

[tonberrykin]

wtf no way I wanna eat the bacon why would I give the terrible KoRn dogs the bacon

[trailblazingspirit]

Nooooo, I don't want to hurt dogs!! Even ugly dogs!! That's horrible, leave them alone, it's not their fault they're ugly!

voice | un: silhouetto

[threebetrayals]

Kunikaki, idiot. My name is Kunikaki, and you never asked.

[trailblazingspirit]

[cheerfully:] Hoodie Kuni, then!

un: shadowsword

[rupturingheaven]

If it helps, that meaning's only for when the card's "reversed". That's an important distinction with tarot-- if you get the card upside down, it's a different meaning than the card upright.

[A beat.]

And you can just use my name instead of a title or anything, it's fine.

[trailblazingspirit]

Mx. Bailey, then! [That's slightly better.] Wait, there's meaning in drawing the card upside-down? But I thought if you drew it upside-down you just put it up the right way again.