video | un: 520blazeit

[goldace]

WHO: Ace, Caleb, and you!
WHERE: On the Gemini app, we don't post property damage where corporate can get us
WHEN: December 17th
WHAT: Ace has stumbled across the touching scene of corporate greed being returned to the Earth. Also known as; who let these chaos gremlins out without a babysitter?
WARNINGS: Chaos, little magical trash bandits, only some vehicles were harmed in the making of this post, language -- will update if needed!

[Good morning, Kaisou, I hope you are here for some chaos!

Too bad, you're getting some anyway.

Picture, if you will, a cybertruck.

Now picture a cybertruck after a raccoon has had his fun with it. Because that is what is on screen right now.]

Guys. [And there’s Ace, sounding so choked up, so proud.] Guys, guys, guys. Have you ever seen something so beautiful?

[He’s just going to walk the camera around this monstrosity of planes and angles, giving everyone a gooooooood look at the chaos that has unfolded, here.

And good lord was there chaos. Claw marks, teeth marks, muddy little raccoon paw prints on the windshields, even the windshield wipers are fucked. Either there were a horde of raccoons at work here, or there was one very determined little critter.

Or one very determined little critter and a trio of Creations with pom poms, if the insanely pleased looking carbuncle raccoon sitting on a tower made of said Creations just off to the side of Ace's camera is any indication. Caleb just waves to the camera as Ace passes by.]

The gashes, the dents, the paint work! [Ace takes a moment to just let the camera soak in the chaos, sighing so happily.] Nature is healing.


ooc: as a note, both Caleb and Ace will be boppin' around the replies!

Comments

video; un: midnightfishing

[illucesco]

[Give him a minute to get his breath back, he turned this on mid-laughing fit.]

…okay, not gonna lie, I thought was a dumpster at first. Same silhouette.

[A pause. Then:]

Hold on, I recognize that cybertruck! That’s the same one I passed by on foot because it was stuck in two inches of snow last week!

voice | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

[Cackling.]

You sent me that photo! Holy shit.

voice

[illucesco]

Yeah, I could barely believe it either! What kind of car gets stuck in two inches of snow, huh?

[Snorting a laugh.]

Regalia runs just fine after being dunked in a lake and some repairs, and this thing can’t even get past some measly snow? It’s basically just a mobile dumpster at that point.

[goldace]

[Ace is still just grinning wide and proud at the trashed truck in front of him.]

If you add like one more raccoon and ten more minutes I don't think there'll be anything left but a dumpster.

[illucesco]

[A beat.]

D’you take selkies instead? I can turn into a seal and make it worse.

Video

[thewarriorqueen]

"Please don't tell me thaat belongs to some random stranger."

Guys you're making her Concerned.

Video

[goldace]

There's a pause as Ace thinks, before eventually just grinning wide and aiming a single finger-gun at the camera.

"Okay, I won't!"

Nailed it, solved it, nothing to see here.

Re: Video

[thewarriorqueen]

That earned him the most exasperated-sounding half-sigh half-laughsnort. That was actually pretty funny, darn it.

"Look, anyone who's got the money to burn on one of those monstrosities can probably make your life hell if you get caught. Don''t push your luck too far."

text; un: DOINK!!!

[tonberrykin]

pee in the air vents
pee in the air vents
add insult to injury

voice because he is still carby shaped

[actnormal]

Honestly, I couldn't find 'em.

[tonberrykin]

hedge your bets piss on the whole windshield
that's where car manufacturers usually have the vents
i know it's expecting a lot for them to have the vents somewhere sensible but you can only reinvent the wheel so much right

text

[goldace]

d u d e

GUAXININHO!!! YOU GOTTA TRY

[Wait shit he's still texting that to this guy, gotta turn and actually yell that out loud, brb--]

text; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

Did Sam put you lot up to this?

I can feel the heat of his grubby little hands rubbing together as he takes this for leverage.

voice because he is still carby shaped

[actnormal]

Nope!

[goldace]

whaaaaat who would need to be put up for this this is environmentalism and takin down the boogiezee

not that i, yknow, did anything but document nature taking its revenge

video: un:trienemybest

[droptheious]

That looks like something Ruddiger had a really goo- oh never mind, there's Caleb, mystery solved.

[For a hot second, Varian genuinely thought his bitch-ass raccoon had committed vandalism. Again. But no, it's the Other Raccoon. ]

Anyway, why is it shaped like that? It doesn't even look remotely like it can manoeuvre on a road. It- it is a car or... something right?

voice | un: chaosraccoon

[actnormal]

[He can't help but laugh because nope, not the bitch-ass raccoon. Just the chaotic one.]

It's a "cybertruck". They're so dumb.

[droptheious]

...That can't be a truck, where is the cargo bed? Like... they whole point of a truck is to have a cargo bed so you can carry big items? If it doesn't have that how can it be a truck?

[goldace]

Ruddiger? Is there another chaotic dumpster diver out there?

[Caleb seems to have the truck description handled, so Ace is going to focus on the potentiality of there being another chaos monster to befriend.

Don't

Don't let him meet the actual racoon, Varian. The world may never know peace again.]

UN: hikari-vi | video

[whiteshroud]

[Huh]

I wonder if a raccoon is strong enough to pull off the bumper.

voice because he is still carby shaped

[actnormal]

[Jun you enabling terror.]

Maybe if the raccoon had help. They're short, after all.

[goldace]

Yo, boss! [Look at this little money skimper! He's lighting up so much just seeing Jun!]

I've watched a bird pull off a whole bumper before, and that was on a real car. Something with thumbs could definitely handle this.

text; un: doordasher

[doublethumbsup]

whyyyyyyyyy are we looking at a dumps



omfg THATS A CAR????

voice

[actnormal]

Apparently!

text

[goldace]

thats what i thot!!!!

no way ppl dont throw trash into the back if its left open