nicholas d. wolfwood (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
asipofbride) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kaisou2024-08-11 09:31 pm
asipofbride) wrote in kaisou2024-08-11 09:31 pm
Entry tags:
[sermon 8] we need more farming sims with guns
WHO: Nicholas D. Wolfwood, the cottage crew, and you?
WHERE: Gemini
WHEN: after wave 1 of the Problems, before wave 2
WHAT: sometimes the horrors persevere but so do you. the world might be 50/50 on whether it's ending in the coming days, but you're gonna live your domestic farm boy dreams all the goddamn same.
WARNINGS: mild sexual innuendo
[ at least Wolfwood has his camera figured out and sitting at a comfortable distance from his face as he smokes his customary cigarette. Fritter is fighting for lap space with the phone, so sorry if you sometimes get an apply earball in the way, sorry fam. ]
So being that I came from a shithole wasteland desertscape, I never thought I'd, uh, run into a problem like the one I'm currently having. [ inhale, smoke curl, more scritches to try and pacify the apple demon trying to get into his lap as Wolfwood lifts the phone and turns the camera out over Persephone's garden in full bloom, flush and full of life. you might catch a glimpse of the cottage crew in the background, as well as the menagerie of animals they've slowly pulled together. Kuroneko-sama naps in an apple tree. ]
I have too much food. [ that might be a touch of wonder in his voice. ] We only eat so much and preserves take up space, so we're tryin' to figure out something to do with all this stuff. Somebody came up with the idea of a roadside stand, but we're out of the way for most people--but if you wanna drop by, that's probably where you'll see Kni if he ain't doin' his part time job at Vergil's. I ain't getting paid enough to explain to a middle school why my ten year old is sixteen now.
[ he turns the phone back towards him, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. ]
So, yeah. If you wanna buy fruits, vegetables, an' eggs we've got more than enough and I deliver. Vash also makes a mean pie. I really just wanna get stuff to folks since I'd rather eat my arm than let food rot, but the damn trees I stole from the weird animal island pop like every other day and I'm runnin' out of space to store all these fruits.
[ and then because Wolfwood's life is a bad comedy routine, a pair of voices pipe up: "C'mon, Nico, I have a name!" and "I got a couple of ideas, Nicky~". Wolfwood's face doesn't move. he takes another drag off his cigarette. ]
And if anybody can set me up with a good divorce lawyer before I give my husbands a Gunsmoke divorce, that'd be great. Y'can ping me or Vash if you wanna set up an order. Don't die out there.
[ and if anyone wants to come by, the garden's as chaotic as it normally is. there's a new addition of a pile of lumber and the bones of a roadside stand and a couple of heavy baskets to put on said stand once it's an actual structure and not just a dream. if you come early enough, you might get there in time to catch Wolfwood throwing apples at Dante in the world's weirdest way of making cider. ]
WHERE: Gemini
WHEN: after wave 1 of the Problems, before wave 2
WHAT: sometimes the horrors persevere but so do you. the world might be 50/50 on whether it's ending in the coming days, but you're gonna live your domestic farm boy dreams all the goddamn same.
WARNINGS: mild sexual innuendo
girl help no one told me life was gonna be this way; network post; video; un: ndwolfwood
[ at least Wolfwood has his camera figured out and sitting at a comfortable distance from his face as he smokes his customary cigarette. Fritter is fighting for lap space with the phone, so sorry if you sometimes get an apply earball in the way, sorry fam. ]
So being that I came from a shithole wasteland desertscape, I never thought I'd, uh, run into a problem like the one I'm currently having. [ inhale, smoke curl, more scritches to try and pacify the apple demon trying to get into his lap as Wolfwood lifts the phone and turns the camera out over Persephone's garden in full bloom, flush and full of life. you might catch a glimpse of the cottage crew in the background, as well as the menagerie of animals they've slowly pulled together. Kuroneko-sama naps in an apple tree. ]
I have too much food. [ that might be a touch of wonder in his voice. ] We only eat so much and preserves take up space, so we're tryin' to figure out something to do with all this stuff. Somebody came up with the idea of a roadside stand, but we're out of the way for most people--but if you wanna drop by, that's probably where you'll see Kni if he ain't doin' his part time job at Vergil's. I ain't getting paid enough to explain to a middle school why my ten year old is sixteen now.
[ he turns the phone back towards him, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. ]
So, yeah. If you wanna buy fruits, vegetables, an' eggs we've got more than enough and I deliver. Vash also makes a mean pie. I really just wanna get stuff to folks since I'd rather eat my arm than let food rot, but the damn trees I stole from the weird animal island pop like every other day and I'm runnin' out of space to store all these fruits.
[ and then because Wolfwood's life is a bad comedy routine, a pair of voices pipe up: "C'mon, Nico, I have a name!" and "I got a couple of ideas, Nicky~". Wolfwood's face doesn't move. he takes another drag off his cigarette. ]
And if anybody can set me up with a good divorce lawyer before I give my husbands a Gunsmoke divorce, that'd be great. Y'can ping me or Vash if you wanna set up an order. Don't die out there.
need 450 wood to build a farm stand; action
[ and if anyone wants to come by, the garden's as chaotic as it normally is. there's a new addition of a pile of lumber and the bones of a roadside stand and a couple of heavy baskets to put on said stand once it's an actual structure and not just a dream. if you come early enough, you might get there in time to catch Wolfwood throwing apples at Dante in the world's weirdest way of making cider. ]