UN Zodiac | April Showers Bring...

[kaisoumods]

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: April 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[The winds of March die down as we step into April, leaving a pleasant spring evening. The spirit vein's colors change to shades of orange and and yellow to represent the earth element. Everyone's devices will emit a soothing wind chime sound as a new Zodiac post appears. The chime will sound even if you have your phone turned off or on silent, and will not stop until you read their messsage and comment to it.]


Wei Wuxian has joined the app. Say hi everyone!


Kohga, G'raha, Choso, and Ruby have left the app.

[The post then continues on.]

Hello and thank you for using the Libra app.

Happy April everyone! We at Zodiac would like to thank everyone for assisting us with the Fae. According to our reports, the Fae Court have finally moved on and will hopefully be gone for the forseeable future. Unfortunately, we still haven't found a good countermeasure for Fae curses, so if you were unfortunate to be cursed by them during their visit, we offer our condolence but also want to tell you that it'll be okay! Lots of people have been cursed by the Fae and have gone on to lead lives.

However, we understand at Zodiac that this year has been quite a lot for many folks. So we're happy to say we're currently in talks with a business partner about a vacation trip for everyone! We can't release the details yet as some things be finalized, but look forward for a chance for your own spring break and chance to get away from it all! 😎

That's all for now! We'll leave you off with our icebreaker question.




This post is sponsored by Songerein Bedding! You'll enjoy amazing dreams with our comforter set.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone.

Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac.

OOC Note: If you haven't responded to AC, you still have until 11:59am EST today to do so! Once you do, you'll be removed from this post. ]

Comments

1/2

[whiteshroud]

[There's a pause as he nearly points out that his lethal abilities are of the holy variety and so he really thinks it's a bad idea to use against any demon he doesn't want fried.

But then - he stops himself. Vergil is a Sparda. Aka one of the family members they sure spent hours watching beat each other up in some of weird pissing contest. A contest that they kept trying to have even after gods were sent in to break them up.

What if the Spardas hear "demon destroying powers" and view this as some kind of new challenge??? The "which Sparda brother can get stabbed by a holy blade better" challenge?? Would they show up at his door looking for fights??? What if it happens during his anime time???]

2/2

[whiteshroud]

[You know what? Some secrets are better left kept. He'll just pretend the Armatus is the best he can go. That's right]

Haha... that's a good point. He does heal from a lot of things.

Just let me know when you need me! And thank you again.

[jackdawvision]

August, I learned how to move like this on a ship, sometimes in the middle of a storm.

Compared to that, an obstacle course is baby steps.

[drewthetower]

and the most physical activity I get in a day is going up and down the stairs in my house

an obstacle course is not baby steps

Re: 2/2

[kowase]

[ save yourself. dante and vergil would absolutely take that as a fucking challenge, sure that their human halves would make them immune to the adverse affects of a full-powered holy beam to the face so its honestly for the best that Jun withdraws from that statement. a secret is definitely better kept here. ]

Of course.

And thank you, for bringing such a thing to light. I had no idea.

[kowase]

...That will be one of the first things I teach you.
How to do them properly, so you do not injure yourself.

[kowase]

I am curious to see what sort of fighting prowess you have.

Once August has inevitably exhausted himself, perhaps it will be me who gives you a 'good brawl.'

[drewthetower]

yeah basically just assume I don't know how to do anything if you're serious about training me or whatever

they literally do not teach us how to do this shit in high school

actually hey do you know what the FitnessGram is

[kowase]

I am quite serious. If I have to start you off training in the same way my father--

...
Sparda, not Aldo.
Trained myself and Dante, then that I can do.

I do not know what the FitnessGram is but it sounds like some scam product you do not need.

[drewthetower]

it's a bullshit thing they made us do in middle school through high school that's supposed to test fitness

it is bullshit

google "pacer exam" and you will see one of my nightmares

[kowase]

[ give him a second because he is, yes, googling it. ]

This is a purely American-Made nightmare.

[drewthetower]

:D

[whiteshroud]

Uh huh.

Well, I'll look forward to our future rematches.

[jackdawvision]

All right, we’ll change that! You have free time on Saturday, yes? Meet me at the park at 6 in the morning, we’ll start you off with those baby steps you keep talking about.

I think you call it “track and field” these days?

[jackdawvision]

I learned how to throw a punch in a Bristol tavern, but how to fight with two swords was Blackbeard and Hornigold.

So don’t hold back on my account. I can handle it.

[He’s gonna get his ass kicked all over the place.]

[drewthetower]

I have free time on Saturday because my boyfriend made me take a day off

and track and field is too much

this is not a joke

[jackdawvision]

Just running in a straight line from one point to the other is too much for you? My god.

Hey, August’s boyfriend, if you’re reading this, I need to borrow your man on Saturdays for an hour. Nothing untoward, just running in a straight line. I’ll even buy him and you breakfast.

[drewthetower]

I don't run anywhere so yeah

and sorry not happening. Saturdays are sacred

[jackdawvision]

It does look as though you’ll be having another day opening up soon enough, if Waver’s message is any indication.

Don’t think you can escape me easily, mate. And look, if it helps, I do mean it about buying breakfast for you.

[drewthetower]

lemme get to a point where I feel like I can handle whatever the hell a pirate captain can throw at me first

[centralfiction]

No, I just decided I'll become a dog today for shits and giggles. What the hell do you think?

[centralfiction]

Don't you fucking dare.

[HE'S SO SICK OF BEING SAT ON, WAS JANUARY NOT ENOUGH?]

[thewarriorqueen]

"Given the amount of weird crap that seems to keep happening around here? I'm not sure I want to assume anything. One of my friends has been turning into a seal whenever he gets wet since well before those fae showed up."

A beat.

"Do you think you'll change back, or is this gonna be one of those get a kiss from a knight in shining armor to fix it kind of things?"

[wiseoldbartender]

No shit? No... what's a fuckin' old-timey disease? Scurvy?

Oh yeah, there's probably that kind too - but they're all about getting money and more people for the metaphorical prayer wheel.

[illucesco]

Then don’t throw water on me, easy.

…you’re very cute as a dog. Like a fluffy and angry cloud.