kaisou | voice; un: captainkenway

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voice; un: captainkenway

WHO: Edward Kenway and you!
WHERE: the Jackdaw's deck.
WHEN: like 3 AM on March 10.
WHAT: birthday boy gets his birthday gift from the birthday skeleton!
WARNINGS: unknowing parental abandonment. blanket AssCreed warnings.

[For a few seconds, there's nothing but the sound of shaky breathing over the feed. Then:]

How am I supposed to be a father to two children? I didn't even know about the first one until I read Caroline's file!

[Poor pirate man is maybe edging a little close to a panic attack. That's what finding out you're a dad to two kids will do to you.

Anyone on the Jackdaw right now might notice him sitting on one of the yard-arms, staring in shock down at the necklace that the damned skeleton had given him. He'd expected a picture of Caroline holding Jenny. Jenny's certainly here, but who is this dark-haired child looking so serious? Needless to say, it might take a few calls of his name for Edward to notice that anyone else is awake.]

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What the hell did you do?

[well, when a pirate loves someone-]

I had a wife before I became a privateer and I didn't know she was with child. [Or he would've—well. He doesn't know for sure.] But she died and—I don't know how I end up with a son.

[He makes a strange little high-pitched noise after that last sentence. Son? Baby? Son boy? New baby?? Two children????]

Waver. Mate. When you see that bloody skeleton again, punch him in the face for me. Please.

[oh well okay that's a much less pressing situation. terrifying, but less pressing.]

Fucking hell. Take a deep breath. Are you okay?

[He is taking a deep deep breath as advised and then letting it out and then doing it again because it's that or he spirals even further.]

I'd asked for a picture of my family. I thought—I may never see Caroline again, but at least I'll not forget her face any time soon.

[A pause.]

She's not in this picture. My daughter is, along with a boy who is my son, I recognize the mouth and the nose, I see them in the mirror everyday. He hasn't broken his yet.

I don't know how to be a father, how—how?

Shit, Edward, I don't know.

[says local mother of dozen troubled children]

I mean--it's not as if this is something you have to learn right this second, right? Try to stay calm and take things slowly.

Bloody easy for you to say, you're not the one who just found out you have two children. Oh god. What if I muck it up? What if Jenny hates me? What if this boy whose name I don't even know hates me?

[ahahah. hah.]

I don't want to hurt them, even by mistake. Or hurt them even more than I must've done with my absence. I— [His voice cracks.] They're my children.

Edward.

[uh oh it's the Teacher Voice]

They are not here right now, so you have time to unpack this step by step. Don't panic, and slow down for a second. You may not be a paragon of morality, but you are a decent person. Caring that you might hurt them is already a good starting point.

[Oh boy that’s a voice that makes Edward straighten up and go quiet out of instinct. He breathes in, then out, more slowly than before. He’s—He’s slowing down. He’s trying to at any rate.]

Jenny I know exists. She’s Caroline’s and mine, and the only child Caroline had before her death. I don’t know about the boy, just that he’s mine as well.

[Breathe, Kenway. Breathe.]

I don’t even know what the first step is.

That much, I'm not sure. I know panicking won't be of any help to you, though. There's time enough to examine that more carefully in a place like this.

I know, I know, I just—I just.

[What if he just leaps off the edge of this ship so he can avoid this conversation and thinking about the fact that he is a father to children. Somehow.]

If I'm going to be a father I want to do it right. I want them to grow up never knowing what hunger feels like, to grow up to be so much better than me.

Bloody fucking hell, I need the strongest drink in the city.

Then I'd advise you find a drink that won't kill you like that godforsaken rum.

Look. I don't know much on this subject, but I know a good parent would want better for their kids than they had for themselves. So I'd say you're underselling yourself.

The rum is fine, I drink it often. [Which explains a lot of his general demeanor.] Still. Aye. I think I’ll check the Vogue sometime this week.

You know more than me, apparently. [On the contrary, he knows himself pretty well! But he sighs.] I’m going to buy parenting manuals and memorize them. Perhaps some of their advice will stay even when I fall asleep and go back home.

"What happened?"

There is definitely some Concern here.

I have—I had. I had a wife. When I left her in Bristol to become a privateer, she was with child, but I hadn’t known, I hadn’t known.

[It sounds like an excuse even to his own ears.]

And now there’s a second child and I know he’s mine but I don’t know how he happened.

[There’s a second before he realizes what she probably actually meant. Oh! Right. That.]

—that thrice-damned skeleton arrived on my ship to say hello.

On the one hand, matters like this are a little beyond Ritsuka's expertise.

On the other hand, after taking a moment to try to actually sift through all that that, she does realize one thing:

"... Is it possible whatever the skeleton gave you came from the future? I mean, your future. Since compared to the era here, you're from the past."

[Fuck.]

Bloody hell. So this boy likely hasn’t even been conceived yet. I haven’t even met his mother yet.

[A beat.]

What if learning about him as I have now erases his existence? [Oh no we’re getting into public nervous breakdown territory now.]

"I don't think that's possible?"

Said before thinking, but then she does pause to think because hmmm.

"I mean... I guess I don't know how human history in this world or yours works, but if the picture exists, then I'm pretty sure he'll still exist. Like, it's impossible for you to change that because if you did, you wouldn't have gotten the picture in the first place."

This may or may not be as comforting as she intends.

[This is the weirdest thing to be comforted over. Oh. Okay. That's nice. He'll panic more about that later but for now?]

So—So whatever I do here. He's not going to fade? Oh. Good.

[A beat. Then:] Children. I have children. Will have children. I already have one child. I have to—children like toys, aye? Books? Jenny must've learned to read, Caroline would've made sure of it, but what sort of books do little girls like? Or little boys?

Time travel and paradoxes are weird things by nature.

"Right, I don't think you need to worry about that."

But as for the rest of it... well, that she's a bit more at a loss to answer.

"Uh, it kind of depends on the kid? But they're not here in Kaisou, so you probably don't have to get anything right away..."

You were a little girl, you've more experience in that area than I do.

[Disregarding the fact that he once was a little boy because like. They were sheep farmers. He did his growing up fast, faster than he'd like his own son to have.]

I just—I left Caroline. I didn't know she was pregnant, but I still left her, and Jenny might hate me for that, and I don't know how to mend what I've mangled, and that's just with her. [A shaky breath.] Some father I am.

"Yeah but I'm pretty sure they didn't have comics and videogames and all in your era..."

Nerd.

"And you care about them, right? I think that already means a lot. Even if you make mistakes, and made mistakes before, if you try to do better that's what matters. People can tell, you know?"

All right, we had none of those, but surely you had toys growing up. Surely you had books. Even books you just gnawed on.

[He makes a doubtful noise, but he’s listening.]

I love them. [Of that much he’s certain.] If any man or woman or creature were to lay a hand on them and harm a hair upon their heads I would drag them away from my children and gut the bastard like a fish where they couldn’t see.

But I’m aware that ain’t enough to be good. I’m—The life that I’ve lived, I don’t regret. Not all of it, anyway. But it doesn’t exactly churn out good fathers.

"Well, yeah, but most the stuff I actually remember is stuff like mecha anime and magical girl comics..."

Did Edward forget he was talking to a total nerd here? Because yeah, Ritsuka really mostly just has nerd recommendations.

"But if you know what you'd do to protect them, you can think about what you'd do to take care of them too, right? Like clothes, or food, or teaching them stuff..." A beat. "Or trying to figure out what kind of toys they'd like."

[Oh sweet lord it's so early. But Zulius is here because of course he is. It takes him a moment to pull himself out of sleep to understand what's being said- but the tone Edward is using is enough to get him there pretty quickly.]

...Babe, what are you talking about? Deep breaths, okay? What happened?

The bloody thrice-damned shanker of a skeleton is what happened. I asked for a picture of my family. Well, I got it!

[The chuckle might be tinged a little bit with hysteria.]

I have two children. Will have? I don’t know—my god, how am I supposed to be a father to two children? How am I supposed to—I’m a pirate, what can I teach them that isn’t going to put them in danger? What do I do?

[...Welp.]

Deffo wasn't expecting that one. Uhhhh congrats on the surprise kid???

[Okay that's probably not helping. ]

Deep breaths, Ed. You don't have to deal with this right now. This is a Future Ed problem, right?[POINTEDLY:] ANYway, I'm pretty sure I've already TOLD you what a great guy you are. You'd do just FINE. A+ Dadding- you wanna know why? Go on. Ask me why.

...thank you. I've no idea how my son happened.

[He is sincere about the gratitude, at least.]

Future Edward has some bloody explaining to do to me. [Does that even make sense? Whatever. It's 3 AM, he's had the shock of his life above and beyond the centaur thing, and quite frankly he needs a drink.

He squints at his device.] ...why?

...Okay, well Eddy. When two people really, really like each other...

[Just. You know. In case Edward needed help with that one.]

Good man, glad you asked! BeCAUSE you are sitting here already panicking about being a good dad to a kid who, in the point of time YOU last came from, doesn't even exist yet. You're already super stressed about doing him good just by looking at his picture. You know who doesn't worry about being a good parent?

[Pause for effect. ]

Bad ones.

[He claps his hands together, just once.]

So! As you can see, by THAT logic alone, there is no way you can be a bad dad. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Shut up, you know what I mean! He isn’t Caroline’s, so that must mean I haven’t met his mother yet.

[Which is another can of worms that Edward refuses to even look at right now. Does he remarry? Does he fall into bed with a woman and get her with child by accident?

Nope, not thinking about this.

But he listens to Zulius talk, and just tries to breathe through it, calm himself down. For a long moment he’s quiet, before he says:]

I love them. Isn’t that strange? I’ve not met either of them yet but I love them so. The thought of—of either of them getting hurt terrifies me, and I worry that they will, because their father doesn’t know how to be a father.

[A pause.]

I should buy parenting manuals.

Edited 2024-03-06 15:46 (UTC)

Guess not! I mean, maybe you didn't even bang anyone, Honey? Maybe you just like... adopted him.

[PROBABLY NOT. But he's trying to find a way to best ease the worry from the big not Catherine's kid elephant in the room. Zulius' smile softens as Edward admits to loving them. That's... so sweet. He's a little jealous, he would have given just about anything to hear either of his parents actually loved him growing up. And here are these kids, one of them not even EXISTING yet, with a dad who loves them with everything he has. ]

That's not strange, Ed. That's really sweet, for realsies. Those kids are SUPER lucky to have you. And you know, sure, if you think it'll make you feel better? I bet they got a TON of those!

I recognize his nose and mouth. Those are mine, though he's not broken his yet.

[God willing that he never will or Edward will rain hell on whoever hurt his son.]

I don't know about them being lucky, but I'm certainly fortunate to have them. [He is going to do this right, goddammit.] Right. I'll start looking tomorrow—hell, later, it's...quite late.

See? Got his Pappa's good looks! He'll be a hit with anyone, you're gonna have to watch him, he might end up a heartbreaker!.

[He's trying his best to lighten this up. He can see Edward is self-doubting himself and he will not allow that. No sir.]

Well, I know I'm fortunate to have you, so I bet it'd go the same for them, too. Lemmie know if you need help, Babe. This is SUPER out of my wheelhouse, but I am always down for a shopping trip. [Pointedly, because this DID wake him up:] Tooooo the point where you'd call it early, yeah Babe.

[~~oh he will but not in a good way~~]

Oh, I'll be sure to keep an eye on him. I'd rather he didn't break too many hearts, like his old man.

[He only just found out he's a dad to two children and already he's roasting his son.]

I woke you up, didn't I? Damn. Go to sleep, mate, I'll call you in the morning and you can drag me around town while we look for toys and books and whatever else they might like.

Don't worry, I'm sure you can dad joke at him when he brings his paramours over- that'll fix that RIGHT up.

[You gotta roast your kid!!!]

At three am? Yup, contray to popular belief, this diva really does need his beauty sleep. But you BET, Babe. We'll hit the town and get our shop on.

Dad joke? Oh—I think I understand you. You know what, I've plenty of years yet before he starts noticing girls and boys that way, I'll work on them.

[A quiet and tired laugh.]

Aye. Sweet dreams, then. Dream of Vergil's chest.

See?! You've got plenty of time! It'll be fine!

[It will, in fact, not be fine, but they don't know that.]

WILL do, Babe, DONE, in fact! G'nite Ed!

[And off he goes!]

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