kaisou | video | un: captainkenway

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edward kenway

video | un: captainkenway

WHO: Edward Kenway and you!
WHERE: filming this from his sweet digs.
WHEN: 12/27
WHAT: guess who's just come back from a pirate adventure with a little bit of treasure!
WARNINGS: blanket Assassin's Creed warnings (allusions to murder and violence) but other than that, none!

[This is a much nicer-looking rooftop than the last video from this account—clearly, in between posts, somebody's upgraded his house. Edward's aimed the camera at himself for once, looking very pleased about something.]

None of you lot told me there was a ship in El Nido! I had to find out for myself—that were a week ago, and I've had a hell of a time since then. Oh, and—

[He brings Bob the ornery bag forward, aims it toward the edge of the roof, and opens it just in case some terrifying wild animal comes barreling out. When none does, he breathes a sigh of relief and digs around inside it before coming up with two plastic bags: one full of siren scales, and the other containing two ripe yellow mangoes.]

Anyone in need of any scales? One of the fruits is mine, but you can have the other.

Did I miss anything while I was away?

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[ Oh, his background has gotten a bit of an upgrade!

Anyway - ]

I didn't know about there being a ship, but sounds like you had fun! And you didn't really miss anything, Christmas was quiet.

[ Luckily.

And after a moment of considering - ]

What kind of scales are they?

I missed Christmas? Hell and damn, I'd forgotten about that. [It never really crossed his mind when he was in the Caribbean, and now it's become such a huge, looming presence for the whole month that he'd forgotten it was all building up to one specific day.] I suppose we were due for something quiet.

They're siren scales. You might find 'em useful.

You did, but the main thing is you got to spend it doing what you want. [ And what better way for a pirate to spend the holidays than some sea adventures? She's just glad that it seems like he had a good time.

And siren scales, huh? Those could be useful... And even if she's not skilled enough yet to find a use for them, Blade could. ]

Then I would like some, please! They could be good material to use at the forge.

And you spent it without anything blowing up or going to shite in the city, which I believe is a miracle, considering what we've been through over the past months.

[It's been a rough few months.]

Drop by whenever you're free, then! I moved into a house near Blue Fish Park not too long ago, it's the one that looks a bit like a castle and has some haystacks lying around.

Awwwww, I'm so happy for you that you've found a way to get your Pirate Enrichment here! That's SUPER important for your pirate-y well-being! I've been totes busy - what's El Nido?

[He is going to find out there's a year-round sunny beach and will never leave.]

It's been pretty quiet. The gate is some B.S movie-making stuff, which no thanks. Otherwise, it's been p.quiet which after the last few months I am so not gonna complain about.

[deadpan:] My well-being would be improved even more if I'd managed to get away with any gold, but alas. [Ah, well.] Oh, you'll like it, it's a beach through the newest gate with birds that'll cater to your every whim. And a ship that'll take you out to sea for a whole week.

[Guess who deliberately triggered the curse when he heard about it.]

I've been through that gate, I wrote a few scripts for those elves. Did you see the one with the pirates? [The...weirdly sad one even though it had an ostensibly happy and Christmassy ending.] Aye, we're long due for a quiet month.

Edited 2023-12-26 17:43 (UTC)

Awww, that's a shame, Babe. Maybe next time you can get the booty you deserve. [He says that with a grin and an eyebrow waggle. So mature. ] Oh snap, for reals? We have another beach? Digging the little bird servant thing.

[He has memories of bird people. Birdtaurs. Every single one of them was a rancid asshole, even the one that was their family member. God, he bets that Ched guy would hate this. ]

Soooooo what you're saying is that you took yourself out for a week to give yourself some you-time?

[Not judging! It IS good to let the pirate go out to sea. It's in his blood or...whatever.]

I did not. I haaaaaaaate the whole movie-making process. I didn't go anywhere near it, I just paid Elliot to go do stuff so I could send you guys gifts. [Your present was ill-gotten, Edward.] I can't say I'm surprised they did something with pirates, though, was it bad?

Edited 2023-12-26 18:33 (UTC)

Mate, I've gotten lazy these days. If I want booty, I think I shall sit in a bar and wait for a warm and willing woman or man to say hello. [Look what you've done.] Aye, we've another beach! With birds that walk and talk as though they were human, which spun my head 'round for a minute there.

[He pauses a moment, then nods.]

Yes. It was quite relaxing, actually. [Edward may be the only person who would say that in all seriousness about a pirate adventure.] Although I'd rather not deal with the sirens again.

[As for the pirate movie, he shakes his head, a corner of his mouth quirking upwards.]

Oh? I hope you paid him well for his labors, I've been in his shoes before. [Insert war flashbacks to all those naval contracts where he was very, very sure that the "honest merchant" paying him to take on ships wasn't quite so honest as he said he was.] No, I'm the one who wrote that movie. I've a new respect for all those playwrights back in England now, it was much harder than I thought it would be.

You're a handsome guy! You could probs manage it that way. Just lean back on the bar and maybe open your shirt a little and you'll be golden. [He has faith in you!!!] We had those in my past life. One was part of my herd. Past-life me, anyway.

[Zulius snorts lightly.]

Don't say that to Nancy, you'll make her cry. [Look, their tame siren at the Vogue is fine, she's different. Less murder-y with the rocks and the singing. ]

'Course I did, I wouldn't make anyone suffer that bullshit without paying them serious green. He did me a solid and I'll always be super grateful for it. [Elliot got a handsome three grand for his efforts, because Zulius is a rich guy who doesn't always understand the price of things and does stuff like give his friends an insane amount of money for a fetch quest or give them houses, that sort of thing.] ...Aww, that's kind of adorable. I'm so proud of you for trying to fix Hollywood's wrongs, Ed.

That easily? I'm not sure what that says about standards these days. I used to have to make an effort. [Not that much of an effort with some sailors, who had been at sea for so long that someone batting an eye and beckoning them closer was enough.] What—really, you had talking birds? Were they also the size of a man?

[Oh shit Nancy!] Shit, you're right. I'll make it up to her.

[Yeah, Edward figured. Zulius just straight up gave him a whole house, of course he'd pay someone...probably more than he ought to now that he thinks about it. Rich people have no sense of money, dear god.]

Then I'm grateful to him as well as you. I ought to send him a gift basket as well. [And pack some illicit rum in with it. He's still gotta move all those barrels and crates, after all.] It wasn't quite—like that, I suppose. I was thinking about how I'd want to see the people I knew portrayed, with all their faults and foibles. Most of us were just trying to get by after England left us high and dry, best we knew how.

I mean, if you're just looking for an easy lay, sure. People be thirsty, you show 'em what you're selling and you'll be enjoying a tumble before you know it. If you want more than that, then that's like...way more effort. That's when you gotta get to know them and everything. Buy them dinner. That sort of thing.

[But he's sure Edward would do fine anyway, he has FAITH in his buddy!!]

And yeah!!! The one in my herd was really teeny. [He shifts his hands together, measuring about a foot apart at best.] He was a finchtaur. But there were big ones too! All kinds of birds. I think the biggest were like... albatrosses? I remember being carted around by those things.

[He snickers lightly.] Just get her a Froyo, she loves those things. She'll forgive anything for one.

[He has no sense at any point, but it does mean at least the Vogue employees are paid ridiculously well.]

You should! I bet he'd appreciate it. [Probably not so much the rum, but that's just the gamble a person takes when they befriend Edward.] That's...actually really sweet. Like, that's important, y'know? People being appreciate for being exactly who they heck they are. ESPECIALLY when they've been screwed over by The Man.

Edited 2023-12-28 21:27 (UTC)

We might not have been on good terms when we parted, but—much of my heart is hers, still. [He wasn't very faithful away from her either, but he'd never taken those liaisons seriously. So:] An easy lay is fine by me. There's not much I can give for someone who'd want more.

[Which is sad, a little bit, but Edward seems to at least have accepted that for the foreseeable future, what romantic thoughts he might've had in his heart now lies in the ground with his wife.]

Albatrosses? I've seen those. Biggest I ever saw had wings longer than my arms and flew off with the rabbit I was skinning, the smug little bastard. [He seriously considered just shooting the fucking bird himself, only stopped by the thought that it would almost certainly bring even worse luck down on him.] Good thing your finchtaur friend wasn't that big. [A pause, then:] Do you think he might show up here?

It is important. And I'll be honest with you, I'm half-sick to my core of seeing my friends' names dragged through the mud by all these movies.

Edited 2023-12-29 11:54 (UTC)

[Aw. That actually makes Zulius' smile gentle a little. ]

Awww, Ed! That's nice. Sad for anyone else missing out on you, you're a great guy. But I get it! Hearts are like, super tricky things.

[After all, he's spent years after easy lays. For...very different reasons, certainly, it's only recently he's let actual feelings be part of the process again. ]

Wow, super rude of it! And yeah the ones I remember were buff. [Because, like everything in his goddamn weird past life's world, they had human top parts. The question is a good one, though, something he has considered.] IDK, maybe? I mean, if I reincarnated it'd make sense other people form my world did too, right? Or maybe he'd be like Dante and just show up fresh from the world itself. Who knows!

[By which case explaining he was Zulius but also not exactly THAT Zulius would be...interesting. ]

Don't blame you. I'd be pissy too! Really hope this sets the record straight for your friends. Bet they'd be proud of you for doing them right.

Wha-

That realm's back!? And you went on the ship?!

[AND ENJOYED IT?? Excuse Elliot he's just having some war flashbacks from his trip last year]

You mean it’s not the first time it’s come around? And here I felt so special.

[Nah, he’s joking.]

Aye, the birds said there was a ship and I thought I might seek it out for myself. [Yes, they did warn him, and yes, he not only disregarded the warnings, it only encouraged him to go find the ship.] Sirens aside, it was really quite an adventure.

Yeah, it showed up during the summer last year. A kid I was looking after at the time wandered onto that ship and got stuck. So I went after him and...

[He gives a dramatic sigh]

Well, I guess you can say I'm not cut out for the pirate lifestyle. At least it sounds like you had a good time though.

Aye, it's not the sort of life I'd recommend to most people. [A change from years ago, when he'd done exactly that to Bonnet. And now look what's happened to him, the poor man.] Most I knew who trod this path are long in the ground, now, or bound for it.

[How he's still alive when almost everyone else is dead is something Edward still is trying to figure out.]

I did have a good time, though! Really quite an easy voyage, despite how it ended.

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