[treasure 4] berry delight, deep within

[throwmoreswords]

WHO: Vergil (and Gilgamesh) and you!
WHERE: the network
WHEN: after Vergil recovers a certain skill
WHAT: sometimes you're just chillin' at the pad and then your buddy has a 'hold my beer' moment and of course you're gonna record it. that's what friends do, right?
WARNINGS: none to start other than verg(il) swearing.

[ it starts with a shot of Gilgamesh, knuckles to his mouth as he looks down at the camera, and then up at something, eyebrows raised and smile just barely concealed under the cage of his fingers. ]

For posterity. [ his voice is quiet, private, and then the camera view clicks over and--

Vittore's clearly been practicing his sword forms, and yet, there is something innately, utterly dorky in the fact that he is practicing sword forms in a literal backyard in the first place. a cheap patio furniture set stands as his visible audience, not yet replaced because it takes a minute to get ahold of the good metal stuff, even if you have more money than god to pay for expedited shipping. most of the man's movements are fluid, elegant in the sweep of their scope, though it's clear there's some measure of improvement still yet to be made--Vittore starts and restarts katas when he's unhappy with them, his movements light and purposeful, his thoughts deeply turned in towards himself with how he mutters in his mothertongue as Gilgamesh provides a quiet running commentary. ]

I quite like this maneuver--stomp, stomp, stomp, and then we do the big sword sweep, and now we're back to stomp, stomp, stomp.

[ it is taking every ounce of restraint Gilgamesh has ever possessed in his body not to laugh as Vergil continues his backyard dance with Yamato, and then something shifts--the camera bobs a little as Gil adjusts it, as Vergil slides into a very particular looking crouch, hand on both the katana's hilt and its sheathe as he goes impeccably still. ] It's like the air is filled with static, all of a sudden. It's making my teeth itch.

[ what happens next is--blurry and instantaneous and hectic all at once. Vergil does not move and the fence--a quaint, white picket sort of deal--explodes.

wood splinters and rains out, clattering apart in a hundred messy pieces as Gilgamesh swears in his own mothertongue in tandem with a sharp, startled 'fanculo' from Vergil, the man taking a half step back as the fence shudders through its death throes. Gil continues to mutter for a moment, finally managing a good old fashioned 'what the fuck' as he begins to approach Vergil, only stopping when the plastic table also flops over in a gruesome, three-quarters cut death, camera briefly snapping to that as the shitty plastic lawn furniture topples, leaving only one of the chairs as a survivor, pristine and oddly untouched among all of the inanimate carnage.

kill the cameraman, but at least he stops a few feet away from Vergil, behind the man as he seemingly surveys his newfound kingdom of splinters and shards (and the one chair, defiant in the face of the reaper.) ]

Fucking hells, Vittore, I just bought you that fence! You've had it for less than a month! If you didn't like it that much, we could've called a company!

[ Vittore's shoulders draw inwards at having been caught in the act, not bothering to turn around as he snaps back. ] Says the man who broke a window with a chain of all things-- [ and then Vergil does turn, eyes widening as his gaze snaps straight to the camera. ] Are you--? Turn it off, Gilgamesh! You testa di cazzo--

[ and then the camera is being rushed by a certain blue cryptid, and while Gilgamesh may die, he did at least post this to the network so you all should say nice things about him at the funeral. ]

Comments

voice; un: kesitakame

[hoshikiri]

[Well, that's one means of realizing you have new tools in your sword belt. When your Iaijutsu botches a fence.]

... Do... you need help? [Does he mean with the fence or with the sword tech? Yes.]

[kowase]

[ he didn't want to find out like this. He's so vexed--especially because he's not even sure how he DID that. he'd just... ]

I will pay for fixing the fence. I do appreciate the offer, all the same. But it was my mistake.

[ he considers for a moment. ]

...Are you proficient with the Katana, Takame Kesi?

[hoshikiri]

Ah, if... you insist. [Gil could also replace it the guy had money, but he did not say that part out loud instead focusing on the follow up question.]

I am. Until somewhat recently it was my primary weapon of choice.

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

Do you know anyone with the patience or profession of picking up shards of shattered wood?

[ hello, bean weirdo. he'll be polite enough. ]

action

[drewthetower]

[So August, understandably on edge after the Krusnik thing, has taken to flying around the city and checking on his people. Vittore, by virtue of being an uncle, is one of his people. And look, when the dorky uncle is being a dork, August is required to come land on the fence and watch, wishing for some popcorn. Eventually two other ravens, Julian and Helena, also come to watch.

The familiars are smarter than August because they get the fuck outta dodge before the fence explodes. August realizes too late what's about to happen and as the fence explodes there is a loud "SHIT" coming from a bird that is no longer a bird and is in fact a human with some feathers in weird places and who is like. part shadow creature at the moment.

Congratulation, you broke his shapeshifting.]

[kowase]

[ he's about halfway through menacing gil for having videotaped him without permission or warning, when he realises there HAD been a shout of someone... from the fence.

...Hold on wait.

He's gonna' run over to the... absolute mess left behind, a dozen different cuts and slashes separating the fence in several different ways--and his eyes fall on the... shadow creature??

His eyebrows going up as, at first, he almost reaches for Yamato again, but.

...Who...? That voice, he's sure he'd recognised --]

August??? He exclaims in--well, horror, really. Did he hurt the kid??

Video: UN: hotgoss

[bebest]

[Vergil did say he was gonna practice more with his katana and here he is, doing just that. In the most dorky way possible, of course, but that's probably to be expected. Zulius watches this whole fucking circus, extremely amused.

And then Vergil just straight-up decimates the fence and well. That's a thing that just then happened. ]

Y'know, I was about to say that looked like some real weeaboo shit going on, but I'm gonna take that back because good goose. That fence is dead.

[Then, because they might as well keep with the joke Vergil did it on purpose even if he blatantly did not.]

He probs wants it all spikey and gothic. Like something Edgar Allen Poe would live in. You made it too suburbs for him. Just couldn't take it anymore.

[kowase]

.........................

White picket fences are terrible, and I am sure anyone on this app would agree with me.

[ he has such a headache. ]

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

In my defense, I did not select the fence. The fence was part of the property that I was planning to address at a future date, if it needed addressing.

He could've done it with a little less flash in my professional opinion, and I'm certainly not cleaning it up.

voice; un: freelancer

[lapislazily]

[Whatever Zhongli is expecting to see on screen it isn't that. A laugh bubbles up out of him, which he tries and fails to stifle in time. He's not trying to be rude, here.]

Ahem.

Is everyone all right?

[kowase]

[ a u g h ]

Other than my ... terrible lawn furniture, and the tacky fence, I am happy to report there are no casualties of note.

...

I would really like to stop discovering new powers in such a disturbing-to-my-life manner.

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

I think my shoulder's out of the socket.

[ he sounds oddly cheerful? ]

video | un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

All right, the fence I might understand, but the chairs and the table too? What the devil did they do to you?

[kowase]

[ god this is happening again, he cannot escape this cursed app ]

Whoever originally invented the concept of plastic furniture has a special place in hell reserved for them.

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

To be fair, they are terribly ugly and cheap. They were on borrowed time anyway until the better set he picked out arrives.

action;

[throwmoreswords]

[ Vergil makes a valiant attempt at wrestling the phone out of Gilgamesh's hands that ends up with Gil's arm at an incredibly interesting angle and Vergil's hand on his neck, and it is

very, very strange to not be able to touch the ground with his feet without straining. ]

Vittore!

[ it's a choked, uneasy sound--if he's not put down he's going to kick Vergil in the stomach with a strength that is also inhuman, but man, he wants to try and give his? friend? a chance to not be strangling him a little. ]

[kowase]

[ he had meant to just grab the man and shake him, a little. hell; he'd done that before--but it was in the years previous to him having superhuman strength, so its sort of a surprise to both of them when he picks up gil with relative ease.

The shout of his name is, at least, enough to get his attention and he's quick to drop the other back down onto his feet, with a blink on his face, as if remembering who he is--what he's doing, and looking at the other with...

....

.....ah. ]

I would ask why you needed to record me of all things, but I already know the answer. [ because gil thought it was fun. ...he's almost halfway sure he can't even be angry about it, he did it to nero the other day. ] --Ah, your. Shoulder.

1/2

[sassery]

[You know, he was just finishing up his first week of going back to school and teaching his new kids, and expecting to come home to nothing new.

.........and then there's this post. Which Nox just. Watches. And facepalms.]

2/2 text; un: noxxed

[sassery]

I go away for half the day for almost a week and you end up nearly blowing shit up with Judgement Cut???????

[HI, IS THAT ANNOYANCE? Maybe, if you squint at it. Hard to tell because Nox sounds a little excited also?]

First off, leave the training shit out of the complex, you could've waited an hour and I'd have been home to grab you and go to the warehouse. [A sigh.] Second, I'm taking your ass to fight club and you don't get a say in it.

voice, un: devilhunter

[advivo]

[ dante's response to all this? a low whistle. he's a little mad at himself for not being there, but unfortunately, he isn't. ]

Looks like big brother got some of his mojo back.

[kowase]

'Mojo.' Is that what you call creating a small vortex with one swipe of my damn wrist?

Everything fell the hell apart in the blink of an eye.

[ he's so stressed, what if he'd fucked some innocent bystander???? dante?? ]

Video

[prunedworlds]

"Nobody got hurt, right?"

She means bystanders. She's very much under the impression that if Gil and Vergil are squabbling, they at least are perfectly fine.

[kowase]

" ... not in any way that is significant, no."

Gil got a dislocated shoulder when Vergil grabbed him too hard and he might have accidentally given August some head trauma but. He's a devil he'll heal.

Video; un: Takamaki

[femmecatale]

First, do you need a ride to a hospital or urgent care?

[She'll pause and wait for an answer to that, but then continue no matter the answer.]

I'll have a reputable construction company come and give an estimate. Should I put it on your card? Or find out Mr. Antique Guy's?

Video; UN: Conqueror

[conquester]

[Iskandar is still trying to figure out how exactly to use this infernal phone work as he never had the privilege back in Fuyuki, pressing buttons at random until a little red dot begins flashing in the top hand corner and his face appears on screen.

Despite last they met, Rider held no ill intent towards Gilgamesh in fact he was surprised to see yet another Servant of the Fourth Holy Grail War here in Kaisou after running into both his young master and Lancer both. An amused grin forms over the king of conquerors features along with a roar of laughter as yet another familiar face, one Vergil Vittore rushing towards the recording device with a furious anger.]

It would seem your sense of humor has yet to improve, King of Heroes! Nonetheless; I must say I am remised to not be privy to such a grand affair in person.