kaisou | WoL Group Text

hey guys! i had a question

Edited 2023-05-22 19:49 (UTC)

do you think if we'd slept with zenos he would have calmed the fuck down?

[Aaaaaaaaaand there goes Amal choking on his chai. Give him a minute.]

uh

okay i don't know why i should answer this but i'm going to anyway

i'm not sure he would have noticed we were making moves on him until his pants were off? and even then it's like 50/50

the guy really wanted to fight us and nothing else. i think there's a word for people who aren't interested in sex and i wouldn't be surprised if he was that

asexual is the word

but idk maybe it's just projecting because i've only got memories and stuff but he seemed like, REAL obsessed with us

like a lot

i don't think i've ever met anyone in (this) real life who is that obsessed with someone and doesn't actually just want to bang them

i fought him in my sluttiest outfits multiple times and he never ONCE looked at my ass

do you know how insulting that is

wow ok that is super rude

i always dress for a fight like it's a date because i never know which one it is until i get there

of course it's possible he's just into women......

either way i don't think i would've slept with him. he only got a fight because i felt like he deserved a scrap of acknowledgment for how he helped us at the end of the universe

that's a pro strat, i'm taking that

[ideal when you want your dates to be fights and fights to be dates??]

[How DARE you Zenos.]

[That’s Eorzea’s ass.]

No.

Absolutely not.

I don’t care if it would have saved the bloody star.

Absolutely not.

i mean i was mostly wondering if it would work

haven't though too much about if i would have done it

I doubt it would do any good.

A good lay can help but I’m not sure it can fix genocidal urges.

i mean i'm not genocidal but sometimes it's kind of the same urge

[lillian this is very much a you problem]

[One crisis and seven existential laps around his apartment building later:]

Forgive me if this sounds rude, but is there a reason you were curious about this of all things?

[if she had any idea how much she stressed him out... well, she'd think it was a little funny. but also feel bad.]

you know when you're in the shower and your mind just decides to take a trip without you? that's why!

also he just seemed super thirsty all the time. for fighting but idk i'm sure freud has something about this

[who the fuck is freud]

I see.

[the fact that he's too nice to ignore this question is making him want to gag because it means he needs to actually consider it LILLIAN YOU ARE KILLING HIM DO YOU KNOW THIS]

I doubt it would work and I'll fully admit that I'd prefer not to find out.

well obviously we can't find out

unless one of us shows up that tried

[h]

✔️ Read

That man didn' know the first thing 'bout the matter and I weren't about to be the one to teach otherwise.

you think?

ok but now i'm picturing varis trying to give him the talk

[cue a few seconds of choking laughter]

Point proven, ain't it? Not like he was gonna say shite-all about-

Did Emet-Selch give either of 'em the talk.

[it's a shame this is text on her end because scintilla can't hear the delighted shriek she makes]

omg of course he did!!!

he probably had like puppets or something!!

overdramatic bastard

[she types it with love.]

Byregot's fuckin' anvil, he would.

[this is more exasperation than it is fond, but it's like a 70-30 split.]

Painstakin'ly craftin' sock puppets with button eyes. 'In the days of paradise we all rejoiced in th' ritual of the Puppet Talk an' it was an enjoy'ble part of all our days' or somethin'.

Edited 2023-05-22 20:15 (UTC)

[you're going to have to wait a minute because lillian is just dying over here.]

now i have so many more questions!!

did the ancients have sex or did they just create kids into existence?? how private WERE their 'real forms'? was hermes just flashing us for that whole thing??

i mean they couldn't even show their faces i bet handholding was ~illicit~ or something

Emet did sort of make it sound like that's the case? What with flashin' us and all, which makes things in hindsight a lil' funny on that topic. But they musta had kids the normal way, right?

[...she made a note to ask Lahabrea, if she got a chance that didn't create a time paradox.]

[......then again it didn't seem unreasonable to think athena cloned him]

i'm not sure. their true forms don't always look like they could do the thing anyway

[The INITIAL REASONING for Lillian starting this chat aside, Takame realized this may be quite useful for something that worried him recently.]

May I ask if any of you have had the Echo trigger since arriving here?

nope

ive been here the longest and haven't had it happen once

huge relief honestly

now that you mention it, no, never

[which, lillian isn't 100% sure what powers she has and hasn't gotten, but]

[There's no context because the image is its own context. Takame shares an image of a familiar flower glowing with a gentle, warm pink hue.]

is that an elpis flower?

oh...... that's not a color i remember seeing

It is.

It returned to its normal color, however I awoke with Yusuke this morning and found it in our bed like this, so I took a picture.

The Black Order is recruiting. And seeking Warriors of Light to that end. I doubt most those stationed here intend to follow through on their process past the minimum requirement, but one of their members advised that we be on guard.

'Splains the call what I got earlier. And the right weird bastard skulkin' about 'cross the road what thinks I don't notice him.

Who was it that contacted you? Are you being tailed by someone already?

[All things considered Takame still sounded as calm as ever. The call he was less worried about than whoever this weird bastard was.]

Nah, nothin' harmful. Was just...ah, whatshisname, Ayato?

As for the other fella, ain't worryin' me yet. Only seen him out there a time or two. Tall, kinda messy. Bit like Emet if he'd bothered t'dress normal.

["Ayato" was a name he kept in the back of his mind. There was, however, a barely audible and disgusted sounding swear at the mention of "if Emet bothered to dress normal."]

A man named Leon warned me at great risk to himself. For the moment I believe that strange man is the one we should be concerned about. Still, we mustn't make him aware that we know of the Order's plan.

Are they daft? Did they think we'd agree? Did they think they'd actually want us?

From what I gathered, those here have little choice but to follow their orders and at the very least make the attempt.

Oh, I'm not talking about the people here.

I'm talking about the higher ups. What are they thinking?

Not for our feelings on the matter. Merely our power and how it may be used to further their ambitions. I want nothing to do with them.

I do not know of their precise plans. Those here know well of how we feel, but we must remain vigilant regardless.

Neither do I. I am more than content to use my power to help my friends, but I don't want to do anything for the Black Order.

I will be careful.

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