voice: un: darkSlayer

[kowase]

WHO: Vergil Vittore and You
WHERE: Libra App, his home
WHEN: May 1st
WHAT: Bear. In his house. Thought you'd like to know.
WARNINGS: Rated B for Bear.

[ whats more impressive than Vittore making one willing, public post to a social media network? Vittore making a second one after what a headache the first one was. and every other time he'd used this blasted network
But right now? right now, he feels he has no choice and he is FIGHTING to keep a calm demeanor as he leans up behind a cabinet he has pushed in front of the bathroom door. calm. ]

Greetings, Libra users. Vergil-- Vittore here again. I hope that I am not being too much of a bother on what I assume is another lovely Spring morning in Kaisou. But I have a very small request I'd like to put out to you.

If any of you have seen my brother Dante within the last hour or so, please, can you try to get ahold of him for me. He went out a while ago, I assume, to go spend the money I gave him for his work this week. I--

[ and then there's the very loud sound of something BREAKING over the voice call, and Vergil's voice, which up until this point was very calm, suddenly cracks JUST a little as he tries to continue the call with just as much calmness he had at the start. ....but what with how an Italian accent is starting to show in some words, it seems he's not as calm as he sounds. ]

I can hear his phone in his room.
He forgot it.

And as I have come upstairs to my apartment, somehow, some way, there is.

There is a Bear. There is a bear in my apartment and it has started to wander.

Please, if any of you can help--

[ ... and now is a great place for there to be a loud QUACK from somewhere very close to where vergil is. he makes a withering, irritated sound in his throat. ]

I swear if you're the reason the damn thing finds us, I will roast you whole.

[ help. ]

Comments

voice; un: AUO

[throwmoreswords]

A bear, hm? Good for you, I didn't know you had it in you but I stand wildly corrected--pity you need to vet your selections better, but that's knowledge and wisdom that comes with time and experience.

[ Gil sounds relatively amused, and there's the soft sounds of clinking in the background. bitch is drinking at whatever o'clock, fight him outside, oh wait you can't, there's a bear in your apartment. ]

If he really won't leave--ah, you don't have security, do you? You could always call the authorities to have him trespassed, one supposes.

[kowase]

It isn't THAT kind of bear, you fool.

[ the exasperation in his voice is THICK. ]

If I could simply have the authorities will it away, do you not think I would have?!

Animal control hung up on me, thinking it was a prank call.

[throwmoreswords]

[ there's a long pause in his next response because he was going to ask 'what kind of bear is it, then' but uh. Animal Control gives a good ol' context clue and Gil is vapid, but not stupid. ]

To be fair, you have a sort of tone in your voice, so I suppose I can see why they'd think you were pretending distress, but I digress.

How did a bear--Grizzly, Winnie, what have you--get in your house?

[kowase]

I suppose I can understand why you would THINK I was feigning distress but I would not have taken such a trivial thing to a network full of fools ready to jump me with their jokes if it was not at least mostly serious.

[ he fuckin hates social medias dude ]

...I honestly do not fully know. I came back after going to get coffee after a long day of work. There are these... vile flowers out and about, and hitting one of them to get it out of my way spat out a duck at my feet that is now following me incessantly.

Before I arrived home I was accosted by a second one that spat out nothing.

I fully believe it is to blame.

[throwmoreswords]

There's nothing trivial about an overnight guest that's decided they're in no hurry to leave... as you've found out the hard way, I suppose. Given that you don't have security and can't fight, a stranger holing up in your house would be a danger that most people would recognize--after a few jokes, yes. There is a price to be paid, and some people deal with things that unsettle them with humor.

[ like Gil is doing now--as for the social media thing, he's going to break you of that habit one way or another. ]

Ah, the flowers? Perhaps I should count myself lucky, then. I ran into the blooms and received much less... alarming junk from them, though I do have to wonder about you and the apparent menagerie you're starting. There's a duck involved as well? Is it helping the bear eat your food?

[kowase]

[ please dont break him of his social medias habit please god he does not like letting the world have free access to him 24/7 libra is ruining his life. ]

I found out the very hard way. And I am putting all the faith that I have that Dante will show up soon to deal with it. He has... an insane measure of strength due to the fact that he is half demon so...

[ that aside. ]

You are lucky to have received un-alarming things. I would have rathered something plain, but instead...

And yes. The very first flower that I opened spat out a duck at me.
It follows me around.
Incessantly.

And it sometimes drops rolls of ... tape.