kaisou | Un: Zodiac | It's gonna be May

WHO: Everyone!
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: May 1st
WHAT: Zodiac Network Post
WARNINGS: None!

[The Spirit Vein in the sky shifts from oranges to dark hues of purple and black as the element dominance shift into the Shadow element. With it, the night becomes almost unnaturally dark, even the city lights seem to struggle against the inky blackness of the night. Instead of the usual blaring sound, everyone's devices will emit a soothing wind chime sound as a new Zodiac post appears. The chime will sound even if you have your phone turned off or on silent, and will not stop until you read their message and comment to it.]

Xiao

Xiao, Cole, Abasi, Sara, Yuuki, Mona, Heine, Yor, Henry, Gil, Ayato, and Lapis have joined the app. Say hi everyone!

Rhel

Rhel, Aki, Will, Morpheus, Crito, Grusha, Hythlodaeus, and Eda has left the app.

[The post then continues on as normal.]

Hello! Thank you for using the Libra App.

On behalf of the Zodiac Board, we'd like to issue an apology. We've become aware that for some time now, we've allowed our greed and own selfish desires to control our actions with the company and towards the people we work with. We could blame it on our board being cursed at the end of the year to turn into demons, but really all that did was intensify an already present problem. We should've been thinking about how we contribute to the people around us, not how to further line our pockets.

This will be a long road, but we wish to change Zodiac for the better. We wish to be seen as a group that you can work with, not one to be worked against. We want to make decisions that'd benefit not just the ones at the top, but the staff we employ and people such as you that we made a commitment to help. We'd like to improve our relations with the associates with the Black Order and POKEGO, both who have done a lot of great work since they arrived in our city this year.

We can't promise things will be perfect, and we can't promise you'll agree with every decision we make. We are still a company that needs to make some profits in order to keep our doors open and our employees paid. We don't expect you to trust or forgive us anytime soon, that's something we need to earn through our actions. But here's hoping that one day we can all work together towards a brighter future.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The Zodiac Board of Directors

PS: We can't seem to remove the icebreaker question section from the code, so we're sorry about that. We'll have an expert look into it, but for now we tried to at least make it on topic.

This post is not sponsored.

[Users will have the option to choose their own display names and userpics if they haven't already. If nothing is chosen, the app will use their real name and a quick photo taken of them from their camera's phone. Rhel, Grusha and Will will be nowhere to be found while Eda, Morpheus, Aki, Hythlodaeus, and Crito will be around the city with no memories of the app.

Like always, there'll be no responses from Zodiac. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ah, there's the thing. When you pay people enough money, they like it when additional money comes out of you, so they don't tend to kill you. Golden goose and all of that.

Also I would never buy pasta in America, especially this part. I pity you if that's the most luxurious thing you can think of.

right, like i come from a land renowned for culinary advancements? give me a break, i'm english and work at a university so i'm broke and our food's terrible.

Are you doing research on how you all conquered all the countries and stole all of their spices only to end up with 'chip butty' and 'spotted dick' as your greatest culinary achievements?

first off, fuck you because that was a little funny

secondly, fuck you again, i'm an alchemist

Look upon me and writhe in despair, colonizer.

They've already invented MSG so I'm not sure what else you can do, but I admire your dedication to the cause.

I AM NOT PARTY TO THE MYRIAD CRIMES COMMITTED BY THE BRITISH CROWN SINCE ITS INCEPTION IN THE MEDIEVAL ERA

but you do have a point, though it makes me physically ill to admit. food's kind of a solved equation when it comes to chemical formulas.

Edited 2023-05-06 03:15 (UTC)

The sins of the father weigh heavy upon the shoulders of the son. Though I suppose it's difficult to argue that you benefit from the actions of the past, given the 'beans on toast' situation of your present.

So if you're useless in the creation of new food, what do you pursue in your search for alchemical knowledge? I'm guessing it's more than lead into gold and immortality elixirs these days?

Edited 2023-05-06 03:19 (UTC)

right let me just get on building that time machine to tell my parents to fuck off to another country thirty years ago, brilliant. whatever.

i study and teach practical applications of magecraft. my own personal affinity is with the earth element, so my practice in the field amounts to creating and refining alchemical solutions as forms of self-defense and healing.

Surely such a feat would get you--tenure? That's what academics like, isn't it? Although if your parents went to a different country, you'd likely end up disrupting some sort of stable time loop and either you'd never invent the machine in the first place, or something would conspire to bring you back to the machine, potentially with bloody consequences.

[ the concept of gilgamesh watching movies is probably a weird one? ]

I'm quite curious as to what that ends up looking like in practice. Do you create some sort of automaton? Or is it more solutions that you keep on your person to throw at people or something akin to that?

not in my particular university, i don't even think we have tenure in a mundane sense. more like 'people who are very inconvenient to get rid of'.

[read: assassinate]

regardless, it's primarily the latter. crafting automata is a little beyond me.

Perhaps if you got rid of the people denying the concept of tenure to your overall establishment, you could set up better rules in your favor. Like tenure!

[ if you kill them first it's not so bad ]

It brings me some measure of delight to think, Professor, that you're just lobbing bottles of acid at people who vex you. They really will let people study anything if they write it down convincingly enough, won't they?

Don't be ridiculous. Hydrofluoric acid would be an absurdly stupid and reckless weapon to utilize. Most of what I do is introduce a measure of magical energy to base components to create things like light grenades or firebombs, as the situation calls for it.

I wouldn't know about the folly of bandying about acid, but the fact that you do speaks entire volumes about you, Professor.

What's the purpose of a stockpile of grenades and firebombs, then, if not to fight for your right to tenure?

The point is 'not getting myself quietly assassinated', rather thought that was implied.

If you quietly assassinate them first, you've nothing to worry about. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Some of us don't go about killing people we think might possibly plan against us at some point.

Now hold on.

Either you're sufficiently certain that people are planning to kill you to the point that you're developing grenades and firebombs to deal with them, or you're at enough ease that it isn't that pressing of a concern for you so you won't strike first. Are you under the sword of Damocles or not?

I fail to see the contradiction. On the occasion someone should attack me, I defend myself. It's simply that straightforward.

It feels a bit foolish to give people occasions to attack you when you could nip the problem in the proverbial bud.

[ sometimes when you aren't an all-powerful dumbfuck who's pretty sure no one can ever measure up to you, you actually get proactive about problems. is this is a good thing? ]

You realize I'm not a mindreader, I don't automatically know who's going to get the bright idea to hire someone to shoot me.

Well that's a skill issue on your part, isn't it.

From what I know of normal academia, it's basically everyone, isn't it? The people under you benefit from you getting out of the way, the people over you only have use for you as far as they can squeeze work out of you. It was fun watching the sciences from the business school--not that they're any less bloodthirsty in that building, mind.

No one in normal academia is actually pulling a knife.

At least I don't think they are.

You didn't spend enough time in normal academia then. The merit program students were just looking for excuses to cut the competition. It was glorious.

i seriously doubt that. murder is usually frowned upon in normal non-supernatural circles.

How would you know, Professor Alchemist?

(no subject)

fionnuisce - 2023-05-06 17:35 (UTC) - Expand