UN: Shroud | Voice | Forward Dated to the evening of April 3rd

[whiteshroud]

WHO: Jun Kohinata
WHERE: Network
WHEN: Forward Dated to April 3rd
WHAT: Post regarding what happened to the Black Order plan
WARNINGS: People will probably swear

[Jun's really not looking forward to this, but after the Black Order's plan went extremely wrong, Jun really didn't have much of the choice but to reach out to everyone. As usually, he speaks through a voice modulator that obscures his identity]

This is Shroud.

A few weeks ago, I was recruited by Jusis Albarea from the Black Order with a few others to use a method that he hoped would allow us to stop Zodiac. He didn't know much about what it entailed beside that it needed four people, but he was under the impression it'd work. We were also all ordered to silence by the Order member Zhongli.

Tonight we attempted to use that method, which was called the MetaNav. Unfortunatly, instead of gaining us access to Zodiac straight away, it expected offerings. Jusis Albarea, Professor Waver Velvet, and Takame were all grabbed by shadowy hands and dragged down into an abyss. [There's a pause of hesitation, since he does feel guilty over this one] For some reason, I did not qualify as an offering, and it grabbed Danny Fenton who just happened to be nearby.

It's unknown what happened to them, but I don't think they're dead. The MetaNav now says that "the gate will open once their souls will be judged". Others who have used the MetaNav in the past have survived, so there's a good chance we'll be able to save them once the gate opens. As well as stop Zodiac.

But we need to be ready. All of us. Whatever awaits us when this gate opens will most likely be dangerous, but it may be our only chance to set things right.

[The feed cuts off. As of the 3rd - Waver, Takame, Jusis and Danny will not be reachable and attempting to do so may get a message from their shadow. The event logs will be posted on the 4th. ]

Comments

Voice | PRIVATE

[whiteshroud]

[Ah, it's Sorey. Jun pauses, before he'll answer. No point in hiding it, considering Sorey stays here]

I am.

Voice | PRIVATE > Action

[notevensorey]

[That's good news. Sorey's even home from work.]

Alright. Give me a second, then, dove.

[He hangs up the phone, and goes out of his room into the kitchen. After a few minutes of puttering around, there's a knock on Jun's door.]

It's me.

Action Forever!!!

[whiteshroud]

[By now, Jun has turned off his phone and tossed it aside. There were too many people rightfully concerned about their loved ones, wanting answers that Jun couldn't give. Jun wasn't one for public speaking even on the best of days, so it was a lot to deal with.]

Come in.

[By now he's sitting on the floor against his bed. The white part of his shroud is gone, leaving just the black inside of his uniform left. The uniform's magic had been nice enough to at least make for holes for the wings, which were slowly stretching after being tucked under his uniform for so long]

[notevensorey]

[Sorey opens the door, balancing a tray in one hand. There are two cups of tea along with some sugar and store-bought scones. He closes the door behind him and sets the tray down on the floor in front of Jun. The brunet takes a seat sort-of next to his friend, but he's not certain if Jun wants him closer, so he just keeps it a polite distance, just in case.]

You don't have to talk if you don't want to. I just thought you could use a friend, and maybe some tea and comfort food.

[whiteshroud]

[Jun doesn't react one way or another to Sorey's distance. Honestly, it's not like he minds people coming close to him. But he will tilt his head curiously at the tray]

Are those scones...?

[notevensorey]

[Sorey smiles at him.]

Yeah! We've got some orange, chocolate chip, and blueberry. They're a lot sweeter than I'm used to from home, but they're charming in an American way. I just have to remember to brew a different tea if I want a scone here. Help yourself.

[whiteshroud]

[He listens to the explanation. It's not that he's that invested in scones, but honestly it is nice to have some kind of distraction

He'll take one of the scones, holding it in his hand but not quite eating it yet. It's more like he's just trying to be preoccupied for a moment]

...My Dad always handled the tea, so I didn't think about the different types. You really have to brew a different tea for American sweets?

[notevensorey]

[Sorey can definitely understand that. Jun's clearly distressed, and he's never been much for public speaking from what the brunet's observed. He'll take his cup of tea and sit closer to his friend.]

Oh, yes, it's all about complimenting the tea to the food. The tea helps to balance out the flavors or be a palette cleanser. So, for American sweets, I'd probably have a black tea or something with a little bit of a kick to enhance the taste of the sweet.

[whiteshroud]

I see. So black tea for American sweets...

[He recites, as if he's just learned a new fact and is trying to commit to memory. He'd never given much thought to flavor pairings, but he enjoyed cooking so it was important to note.

But, that's not what's really on his mind. He's quiet for a long moment when he spoke up]

...I thought, with whatever we were meant to face, as long as I stayed by them, Mikleo and I would be able to make sure everyone returned safely.

[But now he can't. ]

[notevensorey]

[Sorey gives him a nod, and then falls quiet as well. He doesn't seem bothered by it as he sips his tea. When Jun speaks up again, he listens to what's being said and what isn't being said.]

You were hoping to tip the scales in your favor?

[There's no accusation or judgment in his voice. It's meant to be an invitation or perhaps permission for Jun to open up.]

[whiteshroud]

[He considers...before nodding his head. He's got no reason to deny it or feel ashamed. ]

Something felt off about the mission from the moment I was recruited. I've been on dangerous missions before, but none with the same...energy, I suppose.

[he tries to think how to describe it.]

I don't think either of the three were actively looking for death per say, but ... maybe they didn't care if it found them as much as they should.

[notevensorey]

[Sorey hums thoughtfully as he listens, frowning slightly at his cup.]

Waver is one of my clients, so I can't speak in great detail about him or his mental state. However, I've certainly noticed some things that were off. He never spoke in detail about it, though.

[He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head.]

I had a theory as to why, and I thought I'd go back through Libra's archived messages to verify it. I think it's safe to say that this shift occurred when Zero confronted Jusis at the beginning of March.

[whiteshroud]

Lots of things are off about the Professor. [Jun don't just say it so factually] Honestly I'm a little surprised he agreed to therapy.

[Look he's seen that guy treats a lot of things with utmost suspicion ok, he thought he'd be with Amal running for the hills]

...Mm, that's right. [Right, Sorey would be able to read up on all that.] I think he feels guilty about his father's association with Krusnik, even though none of us actually blame him for it. [....] Takame too. He's a customer at the coffee shop. He used to try to make small talk with me. But...after that day, he stopped talking and his tips increased a noticeable amounts.

[notevensorey]

I think he's using it to try to sus me out. [He sounds so amused.

Sorey crosses his arms, thinking.]

...You might not blame him, but I suspect that there's an all-too-familiar story behind why he blames himself. The approach he used to address it in the first place was reminiscent of a press conference, and I recall something about protecting his mother.

[Takame, though....]

Takame's more difficult for me to figure out, admittedly. However, I noticed a shift when you spoke of children being victims. That may have been the trigger for him. All the guesses I have for that are unpleasant, but I think I'd be doing him a disservice in vocalizing those guesses.

[whiteshroud]

Ah. [W a v e r ] Yeah, that sounds more like him.

[He'll listen to Sorey's explanations quietly, running through his mind. He hadn't commented, but he had seen Jusis's post- how it matched his format in some ways. And the shift in Takame]

...So, it is my fault they've been in that bad mindset. I thought I was doing the right thing by coming forward...but maybe Amal was right that some things are better left unspoken about.

[notevensorey]

[Sorey looks at Jun for a long moment. Maybe he's overstepping or misreading, but it feels like he needs to say something about Jun being at fault.]

I wouldn't say it's your fault. Perhaps hasty or misguided in how you approached it, but blame implies you did something wrong. I don't think what you did was wrong, necessarily. A mistake, maybe, but it's something you can learn from. It's not something that needs forgiveness or repentance.

[whiteshroud]

[Jun is quiet as he's trying to process it. It's not his fault but it was also a mistake? And what was the lesson here?

Jun is struggling to figure it out, so his brain falls back to what he was told for years. It was Bad To Speak Up.]

....Is the lesson that I shouldn't have said anything?

[notevensorey]

[Ah. That breaks Sorey's heart to hear, but it's important to know so that he can better help Jun find his way forward.]

No, I think it was really important that you talked about it. It was brave to talk about your experiences with other people.

I think the misstep here is on the others for the most part. They engaged in a topic with you that they weren't necessarily ready to tackle so... publicly. They probably didn't even realize they weren't ready for that kind of discussion.

So, what kind of lesson do you think you should take from that? And whose voice is saying that you shouldn't speak up?

[whiteshroud]

[Oh...so that's what he meant. He lets himself breath a little and visibly relaxes, the anxiety lessening in his chest. After being encouraged a lot to keep quiet through the years...lifetimes...he had felt like he'd been stepping out on a razor's edge by speaking up, regardless of how the heavy the secrets felt on his chest. How knowing his silence let monsters run free.

But if Sorey told him it wasn't a bad then, then...that was reassuring. Sorey's got a good sense of things, and usually has good advice, even if he doesn't always fully understand it]

Whose voice...? [He asks with a bit of confusion, because he's never given any thoughts to the voices in his head besides Mikleo's]

[notevensorey]

[Sorey nods at the question.]

Is it really you who's saying, "don't talk about that?" Or is it someone else telling you to stay quiet?

[whiteshroud]

[He considers for a moment, thinking hard about it]

It's...I usually hear the voices of people saying don't say anything. Like the priests in my past life, or... [He hesitates] ...my dad...

[notevensorey]

[The brunet nods at that. He doesn't react other than to frown slightly at the priests and Jun's father, but he otherwise makes no judgment.]

Mm... sometimes, their voices are going to drown out yours, and I bet you've already experienced that a lot before.

[Sorey thinks for a second.]

Sometimes, I have a voice in me that's louder than my own, too. Would you like my advice on what I do to deal with it? Maybe it could help.

[whiteshroud]

[he feels a little guilty, naming his father out like that. It wasn't like his dad had bad intentions, and he did eventually say that he'd be ok with Jun sharing information. It just...didn't fully undo the years of quiet he had to keep for their own safety.

He gives a nod at Sorey. Yeah, he's pretty used to voices drowning his own out. He'd taken a long time for him to even figure out what his voice was. ]

What's your advice?

[notevensorey]

[Sorey smiles a little.]

Whenever one of those voices starts talking about negative or untrue things, I borrow the voice of someone I think is more positive. Like, what would my mom say to that voice if she heard it say that to me?

So, maybe for you, you could borrow Mikleo's voice or mine or someone else you think is positive enough to combat those voices telling you those things. We all need a little help from time to time, and this is no different from that, you know?

[whiteshroud]

Borrow someone voice that's more positive...

[He considers that one. Who would that be? Sorey and Mikleo were certainly options, they were pretty positive influences in his life. But...if he really had to think about it?

Well, he knows someone else that tends to be always loud enough to drone out the other voices. And was always positive. Yeah, he could even imagine the kinds of things he'd say...]

...Alright, I think I can give that a try. I got a voice in mind that I can use.