Open log + text

[laminae]

WHO: Fern and open!
WHERE: Around the city, and the network.
WHEN: Early May.
WHAT: Fern's to Kaisou.
WARNINGS: Body horror because Fern is made of grass.

Around the city

[Going from the front lines of a large war to a literal nightmare to the interior of his mental vault has been bad times, enough so that when Fern finally exits his labyrinth he finds being upended in a world that looks distinctly un-post-apocalyptic is actually an improvement to his previous situation. There aren't any jerks who've stolen his identity, and there aren't any bigger jerks who pretended to be family but were only using him, so he's already in a much better place.

It can't last though, and he still has a lot of restless anger he needs to get out, somehow. He needs to start wrecking things, he still feels like complete garbage after all the problems he got yanked away from. But maybe he isn't the only one who showed up here? If that's the case, then all he needs to do is hunt the others down, then he can totally get the jump on Finn or whoever and beat the stuffing out of them until he feels better. Perfect plan!

So he wanders the city aimlessly, looking like a completely normal human boy with a bear hat to citizens who haven't been exposed to the paranormal, and to those who have, looking very much like some kind of horrifying pile of grass in the rough shape of a person. When he sees your character he doesn't hesitate in racing over to them, so good luck with that.]

Hey dude! You seen any giant cake robots around? Or Gumball Guardians?

[Asking about Finn will just send him into a self-loathing rage, and besides, the robots and guardians are a lot bigger and easier to spot.]

Network - text; un: fern

uh ok so i get this is some alternate universe biz
i've been through that before so it's whatevs, nothing new to me
but it's real donked
i've never seen so many humans just walking around like they didn't get totes extinct a thousand years ago or anything
not sure i'm ever gonna get used to this

wait unless this is just more nightmare?
is this some big shared nightmare trash? there's a lot less eyes if this is a nightmare
Globbit this sucks
anyone heard of Gumbaldia? the Candy Kingdom? am i on my own here?

Comments

[droptheious]

Yeah, they are, but they're not exactly...safe. Or comfortable.

[It seems like a really poor place to live. The treehouse the Schnitz doesn't count, that's an ACTUAL house in a tree and not just... an actual tree.]

I don't mind, I mean, so long as you don't mind the occasional science experiment, it'll be fine.

[laminae]

Maybe you've just never found the right tree.

[Or maybe he's a normal human who isn't a total barbarian, Fern.]

I'm okay with science. I don't really get it most of the time, but I had a friend back home was a total genius with the stuff. [That isn't really the issue, though.] Are... you sure it'll be fine?

[droptheious]

Uhhhh, I don't think so. I'm not really...great at climbing them anyway. Kinda short for it.

[Maybe it's exactly like that Fern, wow.]

Oh really? That's great! And if you ever wanna learn, I'm happy to teach you. [He LOVES showing people the wonders of science, it's the best time!!]

Of course! I wouldn't offer otherwise. You're... a pretty okay guy, and it's not like you're gonna murder me in my sleep or anything, right?

[laminae]

I'm not that much taller than you, dude. Maybe you just need climbing lessons.

[Clearly that is the answer, and not Varian's noodle limbs and lack of coordination.]

Sure? Maybe we could do a trade or something. [Science and climbing!!!

Ahaha ohhhhhh no. He just pauses very awkwardly.]

Uh, so about that....

[droptheious]

I can climb hair, not trees.

[Because that's totally normal, right? Wow.]

But yeah! A trade sounds good! We can share some skills!

[...He raises an eyebow, that's a ...troubling pause.]

Wait. Aare you telling me you will stab me in the night? Because telling a person you're gonna murder them before you do it never really works the way you think it will. And I thought you liked me!

[laminae]

That - wait, what?

[Okay that's a weird thing to say, even for him. And he starts looking more nervous at this roommate thing, he knows he's a terrible option for a roommate. Varian is being way too optimistic, he should just stay in the tree.]

Not... intentionally? It's just something I do when I'm sleeping. Sometimes. Uh, sleepwalking, but also sleep-stabbing. I also tried to cook once and trashed our kitchen, it wasn't great.

[droptheious]

[He is not going to expand on the hair thing, sorry Fern. ]

OH, you sleepwalk...and extra.

[Well, that's a lot less worrying than he thought it was going to be. He offers a smile.]

That's okay. I keep super odd hours anyway, so if I catch you sleep...activity-ing , I can carefully nudge you back to bed. It'll be fine.

[laminae]

[Fern looks a bit nervous by this admittance. A bit depressed, because yeah, it's a dumb thing most people don't need to worry about.]

Aaand extra. Yep.

[He blinks at Varian's smile, surprised to see that it apparently isn't such a big deal for the other boy.]

Are you serious, dude? Getting possibly stabbed is okay with you?

[droptheious]

[Varian waggles his hand, palm flat, in a so-so motion.]

I'm not thrilled with the concept of being stabbed, but we can figure ways around it! And it's still better than you living by yourself out here in a tree.

[laminae]

Geez. [He doesn't believe this. Someone he barely knows it willing to put himself out there for him.]

I don't - I don't know if there's ways around it. You could get really hurt. I'm really good with a sword.

[droptheious]

[Varian still seems worrying blase about the possibility of being murdered by a sword in the middle of the night.]

There's always a way if you look hard enough. You can't say it's impossible before you've even tried, right?

[laminae]

[This is very worryingly blase!! Even Fern is noticing it.]

Um, no. I guess not. But I'm not sure what'd help, if you tied me down I'd just cut through the restraints....

[droptheious]

[It's fine, it's totally fine. He hums.]

Okay, well. Maybe I can figure out a way to really fortify my door. Or- or figure out a way to wake you up without any...stabbing involved? I can make booby traps, too! I have this really sticky solution that cannot be cut through!

[laminae]

[Fern's eyes widen a little at all of these potential solutions.]

Some of those... don't totally suck.

[What the heck?]

Are you sure I really wouldn't be able to cut through it?

[droptheious]

See? We'll figure something out, it'll be fine!

[He nods, VERY confident in this.]

Nothing cuts through it. I have a friend with a lot of weapons, like a LOT a lot of weapons and none of them ever have managed it.

[laminae]

Huh. [Fern pauses, considering this. If Varian is confident there are options and even maybe solutions for this problem, then he should at least give him a chance. He seems to be really concerned about this.]

Okay, we can give this a try. [He glances down at his hands, his grass rustling a little.] But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Also, your friend sounds cool.

[droptheious]

[Varian smiles, putting what he hopes is a comforting hand on the other boy's shoulder.]

At least we can say we gave it a try, right? Besides...it might be nice to have some company.

[He's USED to living alone, these days. His dad still watches over Old Corona a lot and everyone else is busy with their own stuff- but having someone else to live with sounds...pleasant. ]

She is! She's out exploring the world now, but she had a whole closet full of them. She had a halberd and everything!

[laminae]

[Fern glances down at the hand on his shoulder. It's a small thing, but it makes him feel strangely reassured.]

Y... yeah. I get what that's like.

[He isn't really used to having as much company as a roommate would offer, but he's still partially Finn and Finn's extroverted nature makes him miss it.]

A halberd, huh? Those aren't easy to use. She must be real good with weapons to be able to wield one of those.

[droptheious]

[Varian definitely lets the hand linger a little too long on Fern's shoulder before he pulls it away.]

Oh wow, yeah! She's amazing with them! She was adopted by the captain of the guard so she's been around them most of her life.

[laminae]

[Fern finds he certainly doesn't mind that, though he does think it's a little weird that Varian doesn't either. It's probably weird and gross touching a pile of grass shaped like a person.]

Dang, then she's probably got all kinds of sick weapon skills. Too bad I can't meet her, she sounds cool.

[droptheious]

[Varian definitely doesn't mind. It's certainly...not the same as touching a human, but Fern is soft and comforting. He's quickly reminded of the other boy helping him out of his labyrinth. How the smells of grass and the soft-but-solid feel of his grass made him feel safe. Sturdier. ]

Yeah, she's incredible!. I'm glad she's not stuck here, she's been through enough to be stuck here after all that. Even if I miss her a lot.

[laminae]

[Reaching up, Fern rubs the back of his head. Wow, Varian is making it very clear he admires her.]

Sounds like you do. That sucks man, who even knows if you'll be able to see her soon. Portal junk here seems like a whole lot more complicated than back home.

[droptheious]

Probably, but I'll work it out. I don't plan to stay here longer than I have to.

[laminae]

Yeah? That's legit. I bet you'll get home real soon.

[droptheious]

That's the hope! And I can get you home, too. If you want. I wanna make sure everyone can get out of this place if they want to.