kaisou | [OTA] two little tonberries waddling up the way

[OTA] two little tonberries waddling up the way

WHO: Ghilley and you! featuring the not-so-private Meropide GC
WHERE: Libra and the Fortress of Meropide, mostly
WHEN: after Jumanji bullshit winds down and away
WHAT: sometimes you are a small, small twink and you're doing your best but you post things in the wrong spot and then you get bullied by Christianity in general as penance?
WARNINGS: god I hope not?

one. on the Libra network; un: DOINK!!!
[ you ever misfire a whole poll because you have catastrophically, apocalyptically fucked up? ]

IMPORTANT POLL

Poll #33441 important for a friend

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

View Respondents

After all they've done in service of the Lord, do Veggietales not deserve the light of Heaven?

View Answers

yes, Bob has been through so much
2 (20.0%)

no, Catholic doctrine says otherwise no matter how cruel that is
0 (0.0%)

no, Larry must atone for what he's done
5 (50.0%)

yes, all things that are God's creation deserve to be in His Light
3 (30.0%)

edit: OH GOD I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I HAVE FUCKED UP NOW CODE SILVERBELLS
edit 2: OH GOD IT'S IN THE WRONG CHAT FUCK

one-a. the Fortress of Meropide; in the library
[ ohhhh no he was minding his business in the pile of pillows streaming TV on the anime night big screen and the Duke came looking for him with business in mind but then

THE HALLMARK CHANNEL
RUINED EVERYTHING

'Christmas in July' reruns are blaring along happily and the Duke has firmly inserted himself into the pillow pile and Ghilley doesn't know where the remote is. help. this is too much Steve Gutenberg for one man. ]

two. the Fortress of Meropide; in the kitchen
[ Ragna's not the only one who stress cooks. he's the one who like, organizes the kitchen and does most of the cooking, but Ghilley's handy around the kitchen and it's coming out in the creation of so many different foods. there's cornbread muffins, some sort of potage, and several sweet baking smells--including a distinct but out of season bit of sugary goodness since a certain dog-man expressed a deep desire for gingerbread simply out of nowhere.

he's mixing savory and sweet and Ragna's gonna kill him for what his spice rack's gonna look like but for right now Ghilley is cooking until his brain stops and that's gonna be. a minute. or two. or three. ]

Put a toothpick in the pie, timers with numbers on them are for the weak.

three. outside the Fortress of Meropide; at the harbor
[ it's a full time job, keeping the seals from absolutely robbing him blind--not that there's much to rob since Ghilley's got a 'PAY IF YOU WANT' sign duct-taped to the front of the table he stole from in the Fortress itself. there's piles and piles of baked goods in both the sugary and bready consistency, enough cornbread to slap your grandma, and at least two crockpots filled with Stuff. you want some chili? well too bad, one of the crockpots has cider in it because something had to go with the fucking gingerbread cookies he also has on offer, but there's a little bit of everything for everyone.

but not seals. Ghilley keeps getting up to poke them with brooms when they cutely roll their way just a liiiittle too close to his offerings. ] You already tried this with the Taco Bell! Back up!

wildcard an open prompt for open work
[ Ghilley's got a lot of things to answer for despite his level best to be too busy to do so; if you need him somewhere or somehow else, feel free to capture the pink gremlin of your dreams. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

The answer is a combination of the third and fourth answers. All things that are God's creation deserve to be in His Light... Except for Larry, who must atone for what he's done.

[Sometimes in the course of human events... bullshit happens. Bullshit has in fact happened lately and Lia would like to bake this feeling of helplessness away.

She enters the Meropide kitchen. She sees so much food.]

I see I didn't exactly have an original idea.

[She says this, but she's grabbing a toothpick to check on the pie anyway.]

...Are you talking about that weird cartoon with the religious singing vegetables?

[Varian is used to not living on the same plane of understanding as Ghilley most days, but this is a new level! ]

Edited 2025-07-29 20:47 (UTC)

[Rose doesn't know enough about Christianity to understand the specifics [1]. But she is familiar with Eorzean faiths, and she doesn't believe that vegetables move on after death? She certainly never saw any when she went through the Aitiascope.]

Do vegetables have an afterlife in Christianity? If so, it's much different than I thought.

Also, I'm curious as to just what Larry has done that makes him deserving of god's wrath.

What Larry has done is between him and the Lord. I cannot elaborate further.

As for the vegetables and the afterlife question, it's complicated. In order to go to the afterlife, one needs an immortal soul. Normally vegetables don't have souls, but the Veggietales Veggies are seemingly sentient, so the status of their souls are more in question.

I see. Have you met them yourself?

Poor Larry. I suppose some crimes cannot be forgiven.

Edited 2025-07-29 21:03 (UTC)

No. I was told of their tales in my youth, but I've never had the honor of meeting them.

Yes. Keep Larry in your prayers that he finds salvation.

Edited 2025-07-29 21:10 (UTC)

It's either I start cooking, I start woodworking, or I start buyin' stuff on Amazon and babygirl I am broke at the moment.

[ at the same time, though, he takes a step back and sort of. breathes. takes a look over his kingdom of used vessels and processing meals and makes a weird little 'hmmMM' noise as he shakes his hands out a bit. ]

I could. Start containing my mess. I should do that. [ he's gonna try and pare himself down to like, one or two workstations. other people need stuff too? maybe? ]

... Yeah, that's a mood.

[And now that she's checked on the pie--]

Pie's looking good, by the way. [She looks over everything else Ghilley's made.] ... I can also help out, if you want. Honestly, at this point, I just need something to do, you know?

[ after the incident involving the bed down in the more abandoned prison-parts of the fortress, Wriothesley will start looking for Ghilley aagin. he's at least brought a peace offering--a bag that holds a couple of really well made BLTs with extra bacon and two bottles of soda, held between his fingers by their long necks.

He finds Ghilley in one of the rooms he'd hoped to find him. The designated 'anime' room--where they all often got together, sat in a pile of cushions dug up and bought and brought from anywhere and everywhere in kaisou. Ghilley was a small man and he disappeared almost perfectly among them, but what with the sound of some weird TV program on, it's easy to tell the guy was here.

Excuse as Wriothesley sits down with you, pal. ]

Hungry? I brought sandwiches. [ Read: We need to talk. ]

I mean, not really? I was gonna cook in a bit.

[ daaaaamn it he'd been trying to avoid this. he just wanted to watch a series of cooking shows until the ennui passed him by and enough debuffs hit that he'd like, have to stand up and stretch and take a leak and actually be motivated enough to cook... in like... three... four hours. definitely things that normal everyday people do when they are normal and everyday and not in need of people checking up on them like an orange adult cat. ]

If you want the space I can bestir myself and stop being lazy. [ even if there is a really, really cute puppy on the commercial that's currently playing. ]

[ without bothering to wait to be invited, the Duke's going to make himself comfortable, actually. kicking up those big booted feet up on a particularly firm looking pillows as he opens the bag. Taking out a red-and-white checkered sandwich, wrapped to keep all the greasy bacon deliciousness and fresh veggies inside--he's going to hand it over to the other without bothering to ask again if he wants it. ]

Let me save you the effort. I made these. I cut the bacon extra thick, so they'll be good. And take this to wash it down. [ and a bottle of real sugar cane cola is handed over to him as he opens his own sandwich, taking a bite. ]

You look comfortable. Don't get up on my account, I don't mind the company. I actually wanted to talk to you.

[ to be fair, it is his Fortress, even if Wriothesley is a complete heathen for putting his boots on the good pillows. even Ghilley's just rocking socks. he makes a note to move the boot-pillows towards the Fuckass Alley part of the pile before the next convocation of anime night.

... if they get together to do things anytime soon, anyway. people might stick to their tighter kin for a bit, given what just went down. he grudgingly takes the bottle and the sandwich, shifting the precious remote to rest on his belly until he can secure the bottle in another valley of carefully arranged pillows.

Wriothesley wants to talk and Ghilley's got one Hail Mary pass to avoid it being what he fears it's gonna be. something full of accountability and explanations and feelings. ]

Are you finally ready for me to explain the Megalobox shipping chart?

Oh, those singing vegetables? Aye, if only because the tomato's been through enough, he and his mates ought to be fairly compensated for all they've done.

[A beat.]

Save—which one's Larry again? The cucumber? I'm sure he knows what he's done.

I'm going to drag you into the depths of the ocean and sell you to the traveling fish carnies. They'll market you as the Faceless Manthing and make buckets of clams off of you, you wishy-washy charlatan.

[ YOU JUST SPENT HOURS ARGUING AGAINST VEGETABLE SOULS YOU HYPOCRITE and by hours it was probably more like 20 minutes BUT STILL HAVE YOU NO SHAME ]

Got it in one! Because I was having a conversation with someone and they spent the wholetime arguing that since vegetables have no souls in Catholic tradition, they have no chance of reaching heaven. I find that to be cosmically unfair, because like--think about it!! Those little fruits and vegetables have spent so many hours making works to glorify Christian God, and they don't even get a Heaven giftcard for it??

I have a better shot of hitting the pearly gates, and I'm not going back to prison so that's where that train of thought hits a wall. I've never even written one song parody for the Lord. It's bonkers work.

[Ah. There's Ghilley]

I said that most vegetables don't have immortal souls. The Veggie tales vegetables are uncertain, as I haven't encountered them in real life.

But good, while you're down there, maybe you can find the Sea Witch from the original telling of Little Mermaid. She can help start you on the path of getting the produce their souls, should they not have them.

Edited 2025-07-30 12:18 (UTC)

Are you saying that in this the year of our--well, your Lord 2025 that the vespers of a soul can't exist in a digital space? When the robots come for us all I'm snitching on you first.

Oh, I'm gonna go see that sea witch and I'm gonna offer her some teeth or an organ or something and I'm gonna have her turn you into a terrible sea anemone and then I'll market you as the Religious Gatekeeping Anemone and charge people five dollars to throw peanuts at you in your tank, and then I'll buy my kidney back!!

"HONOR" OF MEETING THEM BUT YOU'D DENY THEM A PLACE WITH THE LORD?

Manic panic's not just for hair, babyyyy~

[ unironically, he does fingerguns at her, and then goes back to this weird middling phase of sort of cleaning that he's currently in. ]

If you wanna put it to cool for a bit, that'd be rad. And then--I don't know what was next. If you wanna pick a project we can shift gears to that while what I've got works?

Otherwise it's more cookies. The Duke made sad gingerbread noises at me.

Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. Look me in the eye and tell me a single soul has touched AI art.

...

I can regrow my organs and you're going to offer up your own kidney?
You really aren't cut out for undersea carnival sales. They'll eat you and your mercy alive down there in Poseidon's domain.

Edited 2025-07-30 12:39 (UTC)

I'm not the one denying them. Managing where souls go in the afterlife is not among my duties.

AI is to digital art what zombies are to corpses you fallacy-flinging hack! I can't look you in any part of your face because you wear a mask!! Who even knows what's under there?!

Oooh, look at mister organs for hire here! If you're that lousy with spleens give me some! I know a guy that'll pay top dollar for human sweetmeats! No I do not ask what he does with them!

And lastly: how dare you. Just because I choose kindness and something resembling fair play and I'm not farming you for your respawnable liver chunks like it's lunch rush at Prometheus' Incredibly Specific Diner doesn't mean I haven't committed several war crimes against varying fish and frogs. I'll beat a shark with another shark! Honey badger don't care!!!

So you're fine with injustice in your organization because it's not your department? What are you, sales force??

Why is my mask being brought up? It's not the state of my soul that's on the table here.

No. A holy vtuber paid off my student loans, so there's no incentive for me to get my spleens into that market.

Claim all you like, but I question it. The seals had no qualms trying to steal your Taco Bell. It's a shame we never got to enjoy it.

... You told me to look you in the eye. Where the hell are your eyes if not the mask region??

Are you secretly that Japanese yokai that has an eye where its butthole is? Are you trying to get me to look at your booty eye??????????

BOOTY EYED ASIDE what happened to the Christian values of charity and shit? Popesune Miku pays your debts and suddenly you're too good to chuck a guy some gall bladder??

The seals have no qualms about trying to steal anything, they're toddler intelligent with seagull morals. They're just little guys and Furina gets mad if you fist fight them. How many gods are you trying to get me in trouble with today?

I'll buy more the next time I have money. I still need to see the Duke vs spicy Doritos Los Tacos.

My personal thoughts on the "organization" are between me and the Lord. I'm simply explaining that you're submitting complaints to someone who has nothing to do with that department.

[Ah right] My rear is covered by a cape, so no I'm not trying to get you to look there. I was speaking figuratively, considering this is over the network.

I give to charity all the time. Your spleen having associate is not a charity.

Fist fighting a seal wouldn't work very well anyway. Their blubber absorbs the blows. I'm just saying, the deep ocean is a ruthless domain. Not even Apollo's rays can reach down there.

Sounds good. I'd offer to pay now, but we got enough food to live on from all the stress cookers. I would like to see that battle though, one day.

Yes. I see the argument. I'm not religious, so I don't really have a horse in this particular race. I watched a couple of episodes and it was.

Frankly bizarre. Give me Bill Nye any day honestly.

[ Plus if he stays neutral in this, he does not risk getting in trouble with his partner, while at the same time not outing Jun as Shroud... for the maybe 3 people in the whole damn city who haven't realised that yet. ]

Wait. The vegetable songs are parodies?

[He doesn't know, his pop culture knowledge is at a solid 10% on his best day. ]

[She'd do fingerguns back, but she's getting the pie out of the oven.]

Ah, he discovered Christmas in July, didn't he? [Time to pray that that stays contained to gingerbread and Hallmark movies.]

We can do more cookies! That was basically my plan, anyway, just with snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies. I could absolutely add gingerbread to that.

[ After everything that's happened--between Lighter almost dying, Jun getting shot, Ghilley's lungs rotting out of his throat...
The air in Meropide feels tense right now, and it's... unsettling, to the Duke. That's why he's trying to do things like this. See everyone--make sure everyone is okay despite the horrors.

He takes a bite out of his sandwich, crunching the toasted bread thoughtfully for a moment before almost coughing at the QUESTION asked, a hand coming up to make sure he can swallow the bite of leafy bacon sando. ]

--I don't think I'll ever be ready for that, Ghilley. We'll put that to aside for another week.

No, I wanted to discuss how... quick to action you were, during the incident with the magic board game.
I know you always act like a silly, fun-loving--a normal guy who just gets into trouble.

...But you really locked in during that incident. I was... really impressed with you.

[ it's weird, being fretted over. don't get it wrong; it's nice because people don't fret over Ghilley, somewhat by design, but it's definitely. weird. because Ghilley tries so hard to keep people at length, and here the Duke is, doing a proper leader thing and touching base with everyone, and it's not fair. ]

Come on, the reading experience can only be enhanced by the implication of deep-rooted homosexual desire. Live a little, your Grace!

[ he picks at his sandwich, too nervous to begin eating--not that there's anything dangerous about the sandwich, but like, there's questions he doesn't want to answer and things he's a little affronted weren't. obvious. Ghilley only spends a little of his time lying--once again, people don't take him at his word, which is fair but also man. c'mon. c'mon man. man. ]

I told you guys that I travel and kill monsters for a living.

[ it's kind of mumbled into his chest as he continues to ponder the pork. ]

The. Guy in my head, right? He's a Hero with a capital H. Part of his price for hanging out with me is that I have to do good work in his stead, so... yeah. Killing monsters, helping old ladies cross the street, fetch quests. It's not that impressive if you compare it to his portfolio--I think he's fistfought gods and won??--but it's just. Part of the parcel.

Frankly, if I'd let him run more of the show, the whole debacle probably wouldn't have gone to such shit for so long.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[OTA] two little tonberries waddling up the way

1. UN: Shroud | Text

no subject

2

text: un: trienemybest

text | UN: Thorn

un: Shroud | Text

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

wildcard because ghilley can't escape

but what if he was just minding his business and being a little guy

its time to talk mr adair eat the bacon sammy

a bacon sammy with conditions is no sammy at all

1, un: captainkenway; voice

text; un: DOINK!!!

text; UN: DOINK!!!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

cw: organ talk

no subject

cw: organ talk

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

a bacon sammy is the best kind of sammy tho

this is grilled chee erasure