kaisou | Video | UN: makeitaventi

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Video | UN: makeitaventi

WHO: The Dead Prophet's Society and you!
WHERE: Libra AND Gemini
WHEN: Late May
WHAT: It's the monthly prophecy post!
WARNINGS: Probably cursing, definitely some sexual discussions

[Everyone's favorite god of twinks—I mean, Freedom waves at the camera with a grin on his face.]

Hey, everyone! Since we've got so many seers, we're trying something new this month to see if it's less strain on one person giving out a lot of prophecies for the coming month. We're each gonna say what we saw in our own words, and that way we're not praying that one of us happens to be free to give the announcement~

So I'll kick off this shindig!

[Venti clears his throat dramatically.]

The winds brought to me a Venetian mask. Literally. It hit me in the back quite rudely while I was on a date with my lovely fiance. I think they're getting jealous, so I need to spend some more time with them. It's either that or a wind demon of some kind hijacked the winds to send me yet another message.

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[Local lizert tags in!!]

You have my thanks for setting this off, Venti.

What I saw was a series of floating islands... There is... was... a region in my home realm within Abalathia's Spine known as the Sea of Clouds that was best navigated by flight. It was somewhat reminiscent of that if I were to make a comparison.

[ Husk looks like he's had a rough night, his fur is ruffled and the bags under his eyes are heavier than usual. He is depressingly sober for this and right at this moment in time he genuinely wishes he wasn't. ]

I had a dream about a table with a bowl of peaches. Saw who sent 'em too. From the waist down.

[ He exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of this nose, closing his eyes.]

At the risk of my fuckass family telling me I gotta get laid again. I saw his fucking crotch. Right fuckin' there. Behind the peaches. Didn't see his face but that fuckin' thing is gonna stick with me for a while. Jesus, it drew the fuckin' eye.

[ And in the background, another voice can be heard; ]

You should still probably go on a date at least, dad!

[Oh no the weird cat's back after a month hiatus.]

A ballroom of waltzing masks without faces
When a lord tempts you into his dance.
Give into the dance and his embrace,
But know that there will be no second chance.
Break free of this attractive cage, little bird,
And make sure you have the final word.

Wow... what a sight that must've been.

Well, don't worry! If it's crotch shots like, I got plenty of those! Just check out my onlyfans. [Drops the link of course!] Might take care some of those pent up feelings!

I picked up a copy of Letters on Life, a translation of correspondence from Rainer Maria Rilke, and wrote down the following quote:

"One must never despair upon losing something, whether it’s an individual or an experience of joy or happiness; everything returns even more magnificently."

Personally I think that sounds optimistic to the point of naïveté, but the..."trance", as I suppose it must be called, does not leave room for literary criticism.

[ Yelling, so much yelling!!! ]

I don't wanna go on a fuckin' date! It ain't my fault my visions are weird.

I thought I was gonna see his face not his fuckin' nutsack.

[No. Why this. He covers his face with his hands, groaning. ]

I don't wanna deal with this by seeing more crotch shots. I didn't want to see THIS crotch shot.

[It's March 7th with a prophecy! She's wearing a pretty summery dress, with her heart-tipped tail peeking out from under the skirt. Beside her is a corkboard decorated with cutesy stickers that, on closer inspection, say things like "Bog Body Take The Wheel".

Sure enough, what's on the corkboard is a careful arrangement of pictures of a bog. Strangely, it's as if March was trying to attempt an exercise in negative space, which—wouldn't it have been easier, right, if it was taken outside a bog?]

Well, I think we can call trance-me's attempt at trying to take a photo of bog stench a lesson learned. Ugh, I'll never get the smell out of those boots ever.

[Unfortunately, Harumasa's secret identity is working as it should be: and thus Zelos has no idea this is Harumasa aka his baby sister's friend]

Wow, had I know there'd be so many lustful seers this month, I would've set up a promo code.

Anyway, here! If you're looking to fall into temptation, I got an onlyfans that's perfect for that! [Dropping the link!!] Have an outlet before you fall into an attractive cage with the next hot lord you meet.

Well, honestly, on some men that's just the better view.

Haha, of course of course! Still... if you ever change your mind, no shame in it!

[WHY MUST IT WORK THIS WELL. Oh, well, he technically saw this one coming. He apologizes in his heart to Belle.]

I would be curious what the promo code would be. But I greatly respect the hustle.

But your offer is appreciated. Perhaps I shall do so.

Can't argue with that, but it don't exactly tell us who he is unless you're an expert at identifying men from their junk.

I know there's not. My [long long fucking pause ] friend from my past life did porn. Got awards and shit, he was always really fuckin' proud of it. Not my thing, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.

[After hearing Husk, Kuni may be sounds a little disturbed.]

I...also saw the peaches. Just the peaches, thank god, no...anything else. What the fuck.

[ you know those videos with like, 20 pixels of dudes on chatroulette or omegle getting jumpscared by other weirdos, and they're clearly in their bed with no shirt on?

Ghilley's in his ~~nest~~ mattress arrangement, no shirt on, and he looks awful those eyebags are dollar store. he's not wearing makeup. there's no glitter. his voice is rough, quiet, and utterly devoid of his usual personality. ]

Now, it could just be Ruddiger choosing to ruin my life, but I've cleaned my closet top to bottom twice and even moved to a new one when the smell didn't go away. Still, non-zero chance of horrible raccoon having left something dead that's passed through his guts four times in my space to explain what's happening.

[ arm over the eyes. shifting to lay on his back. ]

It just smells so goddamn bad. It's in the back of my sinuses. It's at the back of my teeth. It's got the same buzz like the usual echo in my brain gives, but it's just fucking rot and mold and mud and. And garbage juice and hot skunk and hotter sewer and whoever cooked a potroast with one bullion cube for 24 hours in the kitchen the other week. It's like it's coating my throat and the backs of my eyes and dying sounds preferable and no one else fucking smells it.

I wish for death. Can someone Doordash me a sledgehammer or something.

We're not allowed to DoorDash stuff like that. I can get you some other really strong smelling stuff to like, chase the stench out though?

And this month's card is, apparently, the Three of Wands reversed, the little bitch. Obstacles, frustration, delays, all that fun bullshit none of us like and all of us hate.

[He sighs.]

This better not get in the way of my commissions, swear to fuck.

So I'm hearing that one... "babe with the power" song? The really catchy one. "Babe with the power, what power, the power of voodoo, who do-"

[ Well she's never going to forget this song for the next who knows how long. But she stops her muttering to herself after a second. ]

Anyway. The main lyrics are "dance, magic dance" so... Maybe dancing in the future? Hell if I know, but this song is going to be stuck in my head for the next year.

The card I've been getting is the Three of Pentacles, upright. That one... it's all about learning, studying, apprenticeship... and also things like hard work, dedication, determination and commitment... Recognition, reward, one's hard work paying off. Working with others to see a project through.

Stuff like that.

Oh! Is it that time already?

[Well, wee old Cotton moves the camera around to-

A FLOATING PEACH- no wait that's a Pokemon.

It's just finished arranging some hand knit... ....peaches.

They are hand knit peaches with bows on them.] Little Bogsung-a seemed very fond of them...but I can't really guess as to what they mean. I'd almost think they were indicating some sort of gifts, but that doesn't feel quite right.

Mo-mo-mo..!

[That's pronounced 'Bohk-soong-ah', as a fun note.]

Or you could baseball bat me in the forehead. Tea and cake or death, death please. I'm tired of having a nose.

...I don't usually do that on request but maybe it'd be a hard system reset?

you know I am glad that there's another tarot reader now

makes my shit WAY less intimidating if we're getting different cards

If I die I die. People will probably like the ghost in my teeth better anyway once I vacate the body, he doesn't know what Amazon is.

And not having to smell ass-bog is just cherries on the sundae. Bonk me, Bonkmaster.

Oh, you won't die and I would miss you if you did. But you won't die, my healing ability is, uh, pretty strong? So.

[ All the yelling!!! This is how they express affection. ]

Yeah, but two have featured a guys crotch. Once is weird, twice is a little...

[ In the image is sampo, as his usual self, but as the feed starts, he gives the camera a grin and a wave, then as he spins, he shapeshifts into a completely different person. there's no wondering who he might be, because he's sitting right next to one of those old looking gypsy-fortune-tellers you can find at old arcades and renaissance fairs. He's retained his own hair and eyecolor though, just for flavor.

Thanks to his voice mimicry though, the voice he uses is definitely a direct mimicry of the robot too, as he wiggles his fingers in a spooky way, waving it over the front the machine, as if pretending to use the crystal ball beyond the glass. ]

I am awakened by the dropping of a coin! [ he's putting every bit of acting he can into this, clearly. ] You find yourself face-to-face with the great and powerful Koski! And with this coin, I can look into your ~future~.

I see... a future where you are frantic with disbelief. You, standing side by side with someone--or something that simply is not there. A shadow of them remains, but where what you've lost has gone, you simply do not know.

A great search for what is yours may be in your future.

And so spoke the great Koski.

[ he gives a manic little giggle, and with another spin out of camera and back again, sampo's gone back to normal. ]

--Anyway! [ his voice is his again. ]

That's what this seeeeeriously creepy thing told me this morning! I haven't even been able to FIND this room until today, so something tells me this's one of those fancy see-the-future things like the rest of you got.

Sorry if it's not something great! But I'm good at lost and found if you ever need a hand! I have good rates. Ciao~.

[ Jinwoo doesn't look.... too impressed. He's been getting weird little UI arrangements again, so... ]

Thank you, Venti.
For me, I have... UI screens that I can summon at will. People have difficulty seeing them clearly when I use them, but they're fully there for me. Sort of like I'm in a video game, it's. Weird.

Anyway, my visions usually come in a form of those UIs changing with special borders or animation effects...
This month everything's taken on a really fancy regalia. Like one of those old victorian parties you see in movies, complete with masquerade masks everywhere. They've replaced my cursor, and they're on the corner of every screen as a loading icon... some of them are interesting to look at, but some of them look a horrifying.

It's definitely... something.

[ Molly doesn't look all that bothered as he holds up a card depicting a small spark from one side and a flame that consumes the bottom of the card from the other. ]

Ooh, this is an interesting one. [ with a flourish he spins the card around on one finger. ] It's telling you all to rise from the ashes like a majestic phoenix! Failure is nothing but a stepping stone to success.

[ another flourish and the card all but vanishes. ]

Take that as you will.

[It's how you know they care! ]

I don't fuckin' ask for these visions you know! It ain't like I mail order them and go "oh I know what I wanna see this month, some random guy's junk!" It just fuckin' happens!!!

[ And cue her laughing, like a very supportive daughter. ]

You never know, maybe they are trying to tell you something! At least it's not more eggs this time.

[So supportive! He feels so supported right now!! ]

I wish they'd fuckin' quit it. I don't need any of that bullshit.

That's a small mercy.

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