kaisou | text | un: thedancer

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beredvyn of nal

text | un: thedancer

WHO: Danielle Ford Usher (Dance-For-Us)
WHERE: Network
WHEN: Early May, in the midst of the disappearances
WHAT: Someone got the Libra app at the worst time
WARNINGS: Swearing likely? Everyone's having a bad day

[In the midst of the chaos of the Dark Hour and creepy doppelganger broadcasts, a new username shows up. This time with no mention of the Black Order.]

What kind of bloatware is this? Where is the uninstall button

Hellllooooo???

Whatever you're selling, I don't want it

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Devil in his hole, you came at a rather bad time.

They are selling something, you have that right. But I’m afraid this isn’t an app you can uninstall.

Buuuuuut what if I told you I could sell it to you at a premium price?

An 80% discount even?

You could just take a look, no strings attached!

You think????

I spent the commute back from work wondering what kinda hellish weather we were in for with those green clouds.

And now my phone's updated with another hard to remove app??????

Is this Google's fault? It feels like a Google move.

“Hellish” is putting it lightly. You’re safe?

No, it’s a Zodiac move.

Oh, there's Mr. Dubious himself

I'm honored, lol

What part of 'not buying' did you miss?

I don't even know what the hell you're selling

Believe me, if there was a way to uninstall it a lot of us would've done it by now.

Uh, yeah?

You think I don't know how to travel the city after hours? I've been here a while, bb

Zodiac, really? The ones who own the ugly corporate apartment complex?

They branched out to tech???

Look I get these baked-in apps can be tricky to get rid of for us non-techie folks

But someone's gotta have figured it out, right???

The nerds must have noticed.

[She believes in you, nerds.]

Aye, but there’s monsters roaming about, and they’re not the friendly sort. I ought to know, they’ve been trying to kill me and my friends since this mess started.

Them, yes. This app has been around for some time now, though.

Believe me the nerds can't do it either. Apparently it's magic or something.

Mr. Dubious!!
We haven't even gotten to know each other yet and you call me such a name first thing?
For real, friend, you strike a guy straight through his heart.

And I sell lots of things. I'm the sort of guy who can get his hands on just about anything you want--within reason, of course.🌟

Seriously??? Work harder, nerds

Ugh fiiine
I guess I'll just work around it
by not tapping the icon

I call them like I see 'em
What can I say? I've got good aim

Uh huuuuh

But you're not actually the one pushing this unwanted phone upgrade, are you?

[Wrong vibes. More sell you ripped CDs behind the dumpster, not investment techbro]

Save that aim for a game of darts, then!
My heart can't take this sort of injury, it's delicate.

Aaaaaaand you got it in one! I'm definitely not the person behind this app. Honestly, if I was, I'd be a little smarter than to offer an ad-free experience for 90$. 90$!!! A MONTH! Can you imagine??
If people weren't already trying to delete this app off their phone, that price would'a done it, let me tell YOU!

You wanna back it up and run that by me again? Who tried to what now?

[Yes, she can read, but those are some big allegations right there not even getting into the monster comment]

What, and I wasn't cool enough for the beta?

[She's hurt, heartbroken]

Edited 2024-05-08 01:22 (UTC)

Unfortunately avoiding the app won't get you out of dealing with whatever magical nonsense you might be pulled into now.

Believe me, I wish it could.

There are shadow monsters trying to kill me and my friends and anyone else unlucky enough to cross their paths.

I assume you're not talking about the Greek letter? I'm not certain what the criteria is for joining the app, and frankly if I had a choice in the matter I'd rather not be on it. Bloody idiots are trying to charge ninety dollars for ad-free usage, at least we pirates were honest about robbing people.

Then maybe don't introduce yourself like a used car dealer?
That might not be the best first impression.

90 a month??? Woooowie
Do they not know adblock exists?

"Magical nonsense?" Sounds like the kinda talk you hear in Undertown.

[A place she's visited with friends in college. Dani has not yet realized the significance of even being able to see that part of town.]

What's it gonna be? Curses? Witches? A goblin king in tights?

Undertown's the least of it.

There were fae kidnapping people the other month, so close.

[Wait what]

Hang on
What?

Do you mean cute pixie-wings fae or cryptid fae?

[Danielle reads over his message, very similar to the last. The claim feels very outlandish and yet. She saw how eerie the city looked, how distant movement put her on edge. At the back her mind, she recalls late night college whisperings of possessions and curses.]

If you're pulling my leg, it ain't funny.

I have late shift twice a week. What am I supposed to do?? Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

[Shadow monsters aren't an excuse that'll fly with her job!]

Kinda yes and no? Beta is the ~exclusive early release~, but I think the Greek letter is what inspired that term. Ooooh, why we get access is a mystery, is it? Are you sure it's not some virus?

Ninety WHAT. Oh yeah, that's a yo-ho situation right there. Time to up my adblock.

[She does not realize he means literal pirate.]

Would that I were only trying to trick you. But you’ve seen the sky.

Go with a friend. Or ask someone on the app to escort you. We’re more than capable of dealing with these things.

Not a virus either. Magic, so far as I can tell, and I’ve very little experience in that particular field.

We didn’t say “yo-ho-ho.”

[Unseen, Dani is pacing.]

You think I should ask a group of strangers to walk with me in the dead of night? Idk, man
Seems risky and besides, do they even stay up that late?

This is a lot to take in, wtf

Oh, of course. Not out loud at least. It's not like anyone could hear you on Piratebay

Most people on this app are a decent sort, if rather rough around the edges. If you ask for one person to escort you, you'll likely get a whole group willing to help. And aye, you'd be surprised.

You're telling me?

Oh, no, I mean we didn't say "yo-ho-ho" back in the West Indies. I never heard a single man on my crew say that. I'm not sure where it came from but I can tell you here and now it ain't me or mine.

That many night owls around, huh?
Alright, I'll try my luck

[This might end up being a mistake, but the other options are 'try to outrun shadow monsters' or 'stick around work an extra hour.']

...Wait
Are you some secret time traveler?

You wouldn't happen to be that pirate LARPer with the old fashioned ship in the harbor, would you?

There are quite a lot of us, aye.

It's not actually a secret that I'm from 1721, lass. People just don't believe me when I say as much, it's very funny.

...what's a LARPer?

Wow, no idea why
Guess you found a good gig tho!

LARPers are theater nerds who wanna act off the stage or regular nerds using their special interests to try acting
Not my thing, but hey! Whatever floats your boat

Honestly it's rather the same gig I was doing anyway. With a touch less violence, to be sure, but some of the best pirates I knew preferred to rely on making a show of force than truly using force.

[Though Edward could more than back up any show.]

So unpaid actors.

Oh really?
So real pirates had more bark than bite?

Unpaid would be cheaper. Those fancy costumes and props don't come for free.

Something like. Having a powerful bite's well and good, but it's best to have a loud and terrifying bark to intimidate people into giving up all their goods. You didn't actually want to have to risk harm to the wares being kept in the hold.

Bit strange, but then I've heard of and indulged in worse vices. So they dress up simply for the love of acting?

Ah, right! A real fight's a gamble. Wouldn't want to loose that booty
Or the people, wasn't healthcare super risky back then? Did you even have a doctor on board?

Well, not usually. Sure it depends on the person, but more often they're indulging in some power fantasy. Strong knights, gun-slinging cowboys, even pirates, some role that seems exciting and out of reach

Except maybe the historical ones. Those are just nerds.

All of the above? I'm not an expert but there were a lot of them.

I did, we plucked a fellow who happened to be a fine barber-surgeon from the sea, but not every ship was so lucky.

[...barber-surgeon?]

But aye, intact wares are a lot easier to sell off than something broken in half by a stray cannon shot.

What's a cowboy?

Can't say I'm an expert either.

I didn't even realize they were a thing before I moved here.

Barber and surgeon? Damn, you got a two for one deal!

Oh riiiight, cowboys. Those are from after your time, huh

West Indies, that's close to the Americas, yeah? Is the North one officially a country yet?

[How much she gotta explain here]

Believe me, I often wish I could go back to not knowing any of a lot of this stuff was actually a thing.

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