[sermon 7] dearly beloved we gather here today to unite these souls in holy mogtrimony

[asipofbride]

WHO: Wolfwood + the cottage crew + you!
WHERE: the network + the cottage
WHEN: after the Fae Olympic fiasco
WHAT: so Wolfwood has a question for anybody more learned than he. which is most people. the religious cult was a bit pared to scope on what they taught. he's also living the fallout in real time and maybe, just maybe, the desert planet doesn't sound so bad?
WARNINGS: n/a at the moment!

how much legal advice can you get for an apple pie and a prayer; network post; text; un: ndwolfwood

so i have a question that i'm asking for a friend.

ya'll know them white flying rat-bear things with the head tumors on a string?

how, uh. how legally binding is marital paperwork if they deliver it to you? asking for a friend.

... the friend is me. they showed up at my door and threw sparkly trash at me and gave me rings and wouldn't leave until i pulled a gun on them and now Dante's not talking to me from where he's laying on the floor and Vash went out the window after them

i dont know how to be married help
don't open the door for those little shits
i can dump water on devils right it won't make them melt or turn into steam

don't even have to go to the chapel you're already married; action

[ this is a two cigarette problem.

Wolfwood has one cigarette in his mouth and another in his hand and he's just sort of staring out of the window if anyone wants to drop by--or if any of the residents of the cottage want to hash out what the White Menace just brought to their doorstep.

Slappy the Popplio is balancing the rings on his nose and having a grand ol' time, all things considered. ]

Comments

2/2

[asipofbride]

i
like i'm not that bothered by it deep down
they're my guys, y'know
it's fine they're just both freaking out because
they've got a lot of baggage
and i'm freaking out because i have no idea what this changes or means
but i love free shit
goddamn i love free shit i'm on it

[doubledollar]

the ONE creature id have told u to shut the door on...

[ornamentals]

that isn't good enough.

now what are you going to do?

[asipofbride]

do you know what to do if you get that far
you cant beat the assholes in fuckin
mortal combat or something
can you duel somebody to undo a marriage
my head hurts

[drewthetower]

[He didn't want to put his uncle on blast!]

thanks D

and then you will never have to make another cameo

[whiteshroud]

[......]

Isn't Dante just couch surfing?

[ornamentals]

how was i supposed to know that?

if we kill the creature would that nullify the deal?

UN: makeitaventi

[venti_late]

[...Venti has to. He really. Really has to.]

Enjoy holy matrimony, kupo!

[asipofbride]

god above
no
we've been a thing for months
minty
mintsprout
beanshoot
topiary

did you seriously not know we have not been even vaguely subtle

[asipofbride]

what does that mean

un: ♡☮STAMPEDE

[doubledollar]

NOT THE KUPO

[venti_late]

Don't worry about it, kupo!

But it's legally binding and divinely sanctioned!

[venti_late]

Kupopo?

[advivo]

????????????

[doubledollar]

[ vash is making his way back, looking disheveled and maybe with a few feathers still poking out of his coat from where he frantically flew after the moogles to no avail... ]

I wanted a party.

I want a party.

[asipofbride]

[ Wolfwood would buy a job boost let's be real he is that scumbag ]

Look I'm technically a priest if you fuckin' squint can I like. Nullify their contract with my own ordainment? I don't understand any of this. Are all gods assholes?

Do the moogles have guns. I need to know if I have to go fight them to fix my boyfriends.

Husbands.

Fuck?

[doubledollar]

contact someone who knows law bc idk if marrying ppl outta nowhere is against some law

[venti_late]

Enjoy the married life, demon man! Don't forget to show the ring to Zulius!

[asipofbride]

i'm worried about it! i don't like contracts i didn't sit readin for an hour beforehand

what am i legally bound to do
other than vash and dante
fuck
i hate god so much we're gonna have words when i kick the bucket at 40

[doubledollar]

they taunted me with that noise the whole time i chased them im traumatized venti
trauma
real trauma

text; un: captainkenway

[jackdawvision]

Congratulations? Or condolences?

I didn’t know three people could get legally married these days, I can think of so many marriages that might’ve gone along better if that were the case.

[doubledollar]

NOONE'S KILLING ANYTHING

[sunforging]

No, not all've 'em. None 'f 'em, except maybe one or two.

[it's complicated]

...Dunno, though. There's a fair chance they might.

[bebest]

[Naturally, Zulius brings the glitter and sparkle wherever he goes. It's his AESTHETIC. He does stop in what promises to be more gay ranting to look at Wolfwood softly. ]

OH! Wait, you wanted that? Awwww!!! Honey, that's so sweet!

[And back to the ranting.]

So who was the idiot who bought the rings even AFTER Elliot warned everyone about- was it Vash?

[asipofbride]

how is he
how is he him and he's denser than Fritter's ass after a bag of peanutbutter cups? how does that add up? make the math make sense

i will wear pants in front of your aunts i promise
especially for ham
fuck, kni's vegetarian, is there Easter food that doesn't have meat