kaisou | photo + text

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photo + text

WHO: Ritsuka and YOU
WHERE: Libra App
WHEN: Midafternoon after the Goodwill opened for the weekend
WHAT: Someone bought a ring of rock eating and decided to test it out...
WARNINGS: None, just dumb shenanigans

The post that appears on the network is very short and simple. First, there's a photo of a very nice-looking piece of watermelon tourmaline crystal. Except that on closer inspection, one might note that there's something a little odd about it.

Specifically, it looks uncannily like someone took a bite out of it.

Accompanying the photo is a short text:

It really does taste like watermelon candy!

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That's bloody impressive. How?

The goodwill store had a ring that lets you eat rocks!

That arsehole of a shopkeeper. He gave me a bloody organ with those fuzzy mechanical monsters.

wait a what?

[Attached to this message is a picture of a Furby organ, sitting on the deck of the Jackdaw.]

This isn't even the first time it was delivered directly to the Jackdaw! Last time someone threw it into the sea, it was that hated.

Honestly, I'd rather have the ring.

Edited 2024-02-17 13:12 (UTC)

[AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, OPAL IS DEEPLY CONCERNED.]

Are you alright? How-- you actually took a bite out of it??

Oh those things! I got a sort of unicorn that has a head like one of those once.

And she still regularly uses it as a mount.

I just bought the ring though actually. Seemed like it could be useful?

"Yup!"

Is it possible to convey an all too smug grin through voice alone? Because Ritsuka sure does sound rather pleased with herself.

"I got this magic ring that lets you eat rocks."

So, naturally, she tested it at the first opportunity.

[Opal has so, so many questions.]

...Why on earth would anyone make a magic ring that would let you eat rocks?

"I dunno, but it seemed like something that could come in handy in an emergency?"

The fact that she'd even think of that doubtless raises still more questions.

...I can honestly say that I can't think of a single 'emergency' where you might need to know what a rock tastes like.

Said in a pretty cheerful and utterly matter of fact tone, like she's just discussing the weather or something:

"Oh, maybe not knowing how it tastes, but if you're stuck somewhere with limited supplies, having a way to eat something that's normally inedible would be pretty useful, you know?"

Ritsuka please don't scare the newbie.

[no actually this is a good tactic, appeal to his 'abandon society and go live in the woods' backup plan.]

I suppose, those that would hardly be a long term solution. You're not exactly getting any protein from rocks.

[just minerals da dum tish.]

"Maybe... Though since it's magic, and a lot of the stuff in rocks isn't what people could normally eat anyway, it could be that the ring makes it so that those things would work instead?"

She's no mineralogist so she has no idea what all the minerals in rocks even are, but she's at least vaguely aware they exist.

"And usually a backup plan like that is for just making it until you can get something better, anyway."

That would seem to fall outside the purview of simply making rocks edible.

But then again, I've no idea how detailed spells have to be...

"Well, the ring definitely lets you eat rocks, at least."

Which, really, is the most important part here, as far as she's concerned. It just, y'know, seemed like it'd be funny to share the results of her testing it on the network. With no context, of course.

You have a unicorn with the head of a fuzzy little monster?

[You are much braver than he is.]

I suppose if there's a rock in the way between me and my goal, I know who to call now.

Yeah! It's kinda handy, since it'll show up at a whistle and I can ride it.

She used it pretty extensively to escape and avoid oni back during November. Because of course she did.

Even if you just wanna see what something tastes like sometime, you can borrow it.

She won't judge! After all, well, see what she just posted...

Why.

How.

What.

"I found a magic ring at the goodwill store that lets you eat rocks, so......"

It may be voice, but you could hear the all too pleased with herself grin. She knew exactly what she was doing with this post.

"..."

"I hate so much that I can't formulate an argument against 'because why not'."

"I figure it might come in handy?"

You know, if/when disaster strikes.

"But I thought it'd be a good idea to test it anyway."

"Fujimaru, please tell me what kind of situation you expect will arise where the only way out is to eat rocks."

A pause.

"On second thought, don't tell me. You can say I told you so if it ever comes up."

The suspicious pause where she was clearly just about to answer before he added that second bit probably spoke volumes. Don't ask about what all she actually had eaten while on missions before.

"Well, if nothing else, it doesn't really hurt to have it, anyway."

Note to mention trolling people with rocks with bites taken out of them.

Seems very useful. I'm not certain I can get past the unsettling eyes myself.

Really? Hm, I may try the crystal myself, then. Watermelon candy, you say?

I just thought it was mostly funny-looking.

Yeah, it tastes like that even if you just lick it, but you need to use the ring to eat it.

Then you might be made of sterner stuff than I am.

Do you think if I ask nicely enough the shopkeeper will let me have the same kind of ring? Or can I borrow yours instead?

Could be worth a try? Then if you can't get your own you can borrow mine.

Edited 2024-02-23 18:42 (UTC)

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