You'd go down in history as one of the worst people ever, depriving the world of me. No one wants that.
[He falls quiet as Gil speaks- leaving the man to untangle his mess of thoughts and try to lay them out in some logical sense. Straighten out all the kinks- make something reasonable and straightforward out of them. But that's easier said than done- Zulius knows. You have history with someone, as long as Gil and Vergil have, and well... it's not so easy to look at things objectively. Every single triumph and failing muddies the water, and he expects they have more of the latter.
He knows his own judgement is clouded too when it comes to Vergil Vittore. He loves the man- deeply, irrecoverable and it makes him a lot more forgiving of Vergil's... not really ideal poor social skills. But it did take him a while to get here. Old wounds ran deep and he didn't make any sort of move until he was certain Vergil wouldn't rip his heart to pieces for the audacity of giving it to him. He doesn't think he could have survived going through something like that again. Loud and brash and overconfident as Zulius is, his heart is still a tender, fragile thing that's been held back together again with duct tape and hope. He wouldn't have trusted Vergil with it if he thought the other man was going to be unkind to it.
It's a level of authenticity that Zulius isn't really comfortable sharing. He likes people not knowing just how easily Zulius Bunter can get hurt - how deep something like that cut him and stays with him. It's an insane game of self-preservation that he's become an expert in. But Gil has opened himself up here, bore his soul in a way that a nastier man might take advantage of. He deserves a little honesty in return. ]
Yeah, no. I get it. And I also know what it's like to think you can trust someone with way, way more than you normally would only for them to dig a knife into your back the second it's turned. What's that thing about rose-tinted glasses making all the red flags just look like... regular-ass flags? I mean, I get why you don't wanna just leap into it. You've had, like, a decade of evidence showing you why you should. Been there, done that, got the ugly-ass ill-fitting T-Shirt.
[He lets out a long, slow exhale.]
Look. If I was in your place? And I suddenly had to trust the person who actively caused me this much freaking hurt and disappointment? I probs wouldn't wanna do it, either. You can only be screwed with so many times.
[His expression softens, a genuine, tiny little smile crossing it. Not the obnoxious, loud one he plasters across his face most of the time. This is... something else. Something gentler.]
But I'm p.sure I know him at this point. I'm not gonna say he's perfect and he won't let you down, because he isn't and he might. But I think he's really trying to be better, I mean, when he first met me he legit had a wholeass breakdown and now look at us. [And now look at them.] He's come on a whole lot and even if he's super likely to mess it up still, he is trying. I can't tell you if that's enough to take a leap of faith with him, that's like... only a choice you can make. But it was enough for me. And I don't regret it, not even for a second. Y'know, if that helps you with any perspective.
no subject
[He falls quiet as Gil speaks- leaving the man to untangle his mess of thoughts and try to lay them out in some logical sense. Straighten out all the kinks- make something reasonable and straightforward out of them. But that's easier said than done- Zulius knows. You have history with someone, as long as Gil and Vergil have, and well... it's not so easy to look at things objectively. Every single triumph and failing muddies the water, and he expects they have more of the latter.
He knows his own judgement is clouded too when it comes to Vergil Vittore. He loves the man- deeply, irrecoverable and it makes him a lot more forgiving of Vergil's... not really ideal poor social skills. But it did take him a while to get here. Old wounds ran deep and he didn't make any sort of move until he was certain Vergil wouldn't rip his heart to pieces for the audacity of giving it to him. He doesn't think he could have survived going through something like that again. Loud and brash and overconfident as Zulius is, his heart is still a tender, fragile thing that's been held back together again with duct tape and hope. He wouldn't have trusted Vergil with it if he thought the other man was going to be unkind to it.
It's a level of authenticity that Zulius isn't really comfortable sharing. He likes people not knowing just how easily Zulius Bunter can get hurt - how deep something like that cut him and stays with him. It's an insane game of self-preservation that he's become an expert in. But Gil has opened himself up here, bore his soul in a way that a nastier man might take advantage of. He deserves a little honesty in return. ]
Yeah, no. I get it. And I also know what it's like to think you can trust someone with way, way more than you normally would only for them to dig a knife into your back the second it's turned. What's that thing about rose-tinted glasses making all the red flags just look like... regular-ass flags? I mean, I get why you don't wanna just leap into it. You've had, like, a decade of evidence showing you why you should. Been there, done that, got the ugly-ass ill-fitting T-Shirt.
[He lets out a long, slow exhale.]
Look. If I was in your place? And I suddenly had to trust the person who actively caused me this much freaking hurt and disappointment? I probs wouldn't wanna do it, either. You can only be screwed with so many times.
[His expression softens, a genuine, tiny little smile crossing it. Not the obnoxious, loud one he plasters across his face most of the time. This is... something else. Something gentler.]
But I'm p.sure I know him at this point. I'm not gonna say he's perfect and he won't let you down, because he isn't and he might. But I think he's really trying to be better, I mean, when he first met me he legit had a wholeass breakdown and now look at us. [And now look at them.] He's come on a whole lot and even if he's super likely to mess it up still, he is trying. I can't tell you if that's enough to take a leap of faith with him, that's like... only a choice you can make. But it was enough for me. And I don't regret it, not even for a second. Y'know, if that helps you with any perspective.