...Irisviel offered to help me find a different catalyst, if I wanted to. Hell, that castle's probably got all kinds of mythical shit in the basement--but obviously I turned her down. For a situation like this-....no, regardless of situation, there was never any other option.
[His hand fell away from the ivory shard around his neck, much easier to see now that he was dressed a little less formally.]
But I-...this whole thing's been one mistake after another on my part. I keep stumbling at the worst times, because I'd convinced myself I wasn't-...that I-...
[Waver faltered, scowling as he tried to find the right words. It wasn't a matter of not wanting to admit he was wrong, but knowing he was and being unsure of how to approach it.]
...Mages aren't human. Or...no, it's because they are that they're such vile things. To be a mage is to convince oneself that you are a vessel for power to be refined and transferred to the next generation, and a weapon to protect and increase that power. We crush out our humanity to become machines, geared toward a single purpose. For them, to advance their bloodline. For me, to destroy the Grail.
[He wasn't looking at Diarmuid, staring into the fire with deep exhaustion written all over his face.]
I tried to kill 'Waver Velvet' so that 'Lord El-Melloi II' could do whatever was necessary. To shoulder what the others shouldn't have had to. And that was a mistake.
no subject
[His hand fell away from the ivory shard around his neck, much easier to see now that he was dressed a little less formally.]
But I-...this whole thing's been one mistake after another on my part. I keep stumbling at the worst times, because I'd convinced myself I wasn't-...that I-...
[Waver faltered, scowling as he tried to find the right words. It wasn't a matter of not wanting to admit he was wrong, but knowing he was and being unsure of how to approach it.]
...Mages aren't human. Or...no, it's because they are that they're such vile things. To be a mage is to convince oneself that you are a vessel for power to be refined and transferred to the next generation, and a weapon to protect and increase that power. We crush out our humanity to become machines, geared toward a single purpose. For them, to advance their bloodline. For me, to destroy the Grail.
[He wasn't looking at Diarmuid, staring into the fire with deep exhaustion written all over his face.]
I tried to kill 'Waver Velvet' so that 'Lord El-Melloi II' could do whatever was necessary. To shoulder what the others shouldn't have had to. And that was a mistake.