"...yeah. I do. Before the Fourth War, I didn't have anywhere else to go except the Clock Tower. And I was an arrogant kid trying to force myself to belong in a society where I don't."
'Didn't' would not have felt right to say. Yes, he was as much a vile creature as the rest in his own eyes, but it wasn't so simple as only that. The incident in April had taught him that if nothing else.
"While we were in Fuyuki, I realized I hated the whole thing. I hated the society that decided bloodline was the only thing worth merit. I hated Kayneth, hated everything he stood for, and hated myself most of all for being so stupid as to think being recognized for pathetic skills would have brought any fulfillment."
It was...almost refreshing to be able to speak like this and feel like at least some of it was understood. Ritsuka may not have been an Association mage, but she was still a Master; there was very little doubt she would understand the kind of harsh personal realizations forging a connection like that would lead to, if one gave enough of a damn about their Servant. (Or Servants, such as it were.)
"I know better than anyone that the Clock Tower has plenty of students with unbelievable potential going overlooked because they're lacking in bloodline or so eccentric that no blue-blooded professor will go near them. I stay because I hate it, and I hate it because I know things don't have to be like this. Because I hate the world of mages, I teach those who might grow to overturn the entire worthless Association."
no subject
'Didn't' would not have felt right to say. Yes, he was as much a vile creature as the rest in his own eyes, but it wasn't so simple as only that. The incident in April had taught him that if nothing else.
"While we were in Fuyuki, I realized I hated the whole thing. I hated the society that decided bloodline was the only thing worth merit. I hated Kayneth, hated everything he stood for, and hated myself most of all for being so stupid as to think being recognized for pathetic skills would have brought any fulfillment."
It was...almost refreshing to be able to speak like this and feel like at least some of it was understood. Ritsuka may not have been an Association mage, but she was still a Master; there was very little doubt she would understand the kind of harsh personal realizations forging a connection like that would lead to, if one gave enough of a damn about their Servant. (Or Servants, such as it were.)
"I know better than anyone that the Clock Tower has plenty of students with unbelievable potential going overlooked because they're lacking in bloodline or so eccentric that no blue-blooded professor will go near them. I stay because I hate it, and I hate it because I know things don't have to be like this. Because I hate the world of mages, I teach those who might grow to overturn the entire worthless Association."