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Entry tags:
video | un: kissmyash
WHO: Ash + the app
WHERE: The app mostly
WHEN: June 16th
WHAT: Ash needs to explain something to the app
WARNINGS: Ash swears? Discussion of Krusnik and the child experimentation therein?
[When the video starts, Ash...is not in his RV and he does not look good at all. He frankly looks like he's been through literal hell and when he speaks he doesn't sound all that much better.]
I know I ain't got that many people on this stupid app who give a fuck, but people might've felt somethin' in the spirit realm a few days ago and this is just easier.
[A beat because really how do you explain this? Especially to people who probably don't care?]
If you were here in, what, March? You probably heard about Krusnik. If you weren't, they're a bunch of fucking assholes who take kids or people who won't be missed and do all sorts of fuckin' shit to them. The lab I was at was tryin' to get someone possessed by a god. I didn't get a god, but I got as close as they probably ever got before I got out. If you were ever wonderin' why I was always picking fights, having an asshole in your head that said "fight every week or you're gonna suffer" from the age of nine will do that to you.
[God he hates this. The recording actually cuts out here and doesn't cut back in for some time as he tries to make himself do this. He needs to do this. If he doesn't, he won't use the app ever again and he knows that about himself.]
Anyway, fucker's gone. I didn't pay the price an' he took offense. Opened a tear into his realm and nearly got me good, but...other people noticed and got me out. Ain't possessed anymore so hey, good news, it's possible to break that shit so long as you got a really good healer and people who can destroy spirits or whatever the fuck happened. [He knows but he's not outting Zero's abilities like that.] So. Yeah. If you felt something in the spirit realm a few days ago, that was me. Or, the asshole, I guess.
WHERE: The app mostly
WHEN: June 16th
WHAT: Ash needs to explain something to the app
WARNINGS: Ash swears? Discussion of Krusnik and the child experimentation therein?
[When the video starts, Ash...is not in his RV and he does not look good at all. He frankly looks like he's been through literal hell and when he speaks he doesn't sound all that much better.]
I know I ain't got that many people on this stupid app who give a fuck, but people might've felt somethin' in the spirit realm a few days ago and this is just easier.
[A beat because really how do you explain this? Especially to people who probably don't care?]
If you were here in, what, March? You probably heard about Krusnik. If you weren't, they're a bunch of fucking assholes who take kids or people who won't be missed and do all sorts of fuckin' shit to them. The lab I was at was tryin' to get someone possessed by a god. I didn't get a god, but I got as close as they probably ever got before I got out. If you were ever wonderin' why I was always picking fights, having an asshole in your head that said "fight every week or you're gonna suffer" from the age of nine will do that to you.
[God he hates this. The recording actually cuts out here and doesn't cut back in for some time as he tries to make himself do this. He needs to do this. If he doesn't, he won't use the app ever again and he knows that about himself.]
Anyway, fucker's gone. I didn't pay the price an' he took offense. Opened a tear into his realm and nearly got me good, but...other people noticed and got me out. Ain't possessed anymore so hey, good news, it's possible to break that shit so long as you got a really good healer and people who can destroy spirits or whatever the fuck happened. [He knows but he's not outting Zero's abilities like that.] So. Yeah. If you felt something in the spirit realm a few days ago, that was me. Or, the asshole, I guess.
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I just know it's easier to give a dinosaur name if you get asked that. I usually say Triceratops because it's easy to remember.
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[Weird. He'll probably pick that too.]
What else do I need to know about Disney?
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[Back on topic]
A lot more. After the dark age of disney, we hit the Disney Renaissance. This started with Little Mermaid and ended with Tarzan. This era is Disney is considered it's best and most famous, so I'll just go over each one.
The Little Mermaid is about a teenage mermaid who wants to see the surface world, so she makes a deal with a sea witch to gain legs in exchange for her voice. It's a fun movie, but a lot of people have criticisms about Ariel's choices.
Beauty and the Beast is a romance between a French inventor's daughter and a prince that's been turned into a Beast. People like to call it Stockholm Syndrome, but I don't really think so. Oh, and this also inspired not only furries but monsterfuckers.
Aladdin is about a street rat who uses wishes from a genie to pose as a prince to impress a princess. The Genie is voiced by an actor named Robin Williams who appeared in a lot of movies and was very famous.
The Lion King is a very loose adaptation of Hamlet using lions. It's considered one of disney's best, and also another source of furry awakenings.
Pocahontas is ... well... [He clears his throat] you should probably just use the "I'm German" excuse and avoid the discourse about this one for your own sake.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about a hunchback bellringer who was raised by an abusive church leader who wants to commit genocide against gypsies while also lusting for one. They tried to make it more kid-friendly by adding singing gargoyles: it does not work.
Hercules is a very liberal retelling of the myth of Hercules. It's a fun movie but don't bring it up with people who are into greek mythology unless you want to hear a very long rant about it.
Mulan is about a girl in china who disguises herself as a man to fight in her father's place during a war. Everyone knows the words to the song "I'll make a man out of you" and Li Shang is a bisexual icon.
Tarzan is about a boy who gets raised by gorillas in the jungles of Africa. It's fine, but the thing most people remember is how the musician Phil Collins went super hard on the soundtrack.
[he takes a breath]
Okay, that should be the whole renaissance.
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Yeah, the fucker was Greek so I'll just avoid that one in general. But like, I've read Hunchback. How the fuck did that one get made into an animated movie?!
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After the Disney Renaissance, Disney floundered again for a number of years. There's a lot of movies, but I think you could skip most of them besides Emperor's New Groove because that is used for a lot of memes, and Lilo and Stitch I think you'll find relatable.
[A destructive lab creature trying to find their place in the world? Look it made Jun feel things okay]
And while disney was floundering, another animation company named Pixar started gaining traction. They have a lot of great movies, but I think the biggest ones to see is the Toy Story trilogy. If you watch any other Pixar movies, I recommend only doing it with people you don't mind seeing you cry.
...Oh, and it's a Dreamworks movie, but I'm required to recommend Prince of Egypt. It covers Moses's story in the Book of Exodus and if you don't like it I'm going to reassess our friendship.
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[Since if it might make him cry, it's almost certainly going to make Elliot cry and frankly Ash is not strong enough to see one of his sorta-parents cry.]
And make sure to watch the Moses movie.
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You have a boyfriend?
[This is new information to him!!]
Yes. You can believe in whatever religion you want or not believe in anything at all- I don't care about that. But that movie is mandatory viewing.
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[Oh, yeah, he hasn't told anyone outside of the Dads.]
Yeah, uh. Pat? We started dating in May. We're not shouting it from the rooftops but...yeah.
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Congratulations you two! I'm happy you have someone like that.
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[Pretty much sums up what Ryouta regularly tells jun when he gets in such a state]
Anyway, we're now in the modern era of Disney. They currently only make movies in 3D animation, and there's plenty of good ones. The most famous one is Frozen which was extremely popular when it came out, to the point it gained it's fair number of vocal haters who are annoyed at how popular it is. Personally...I think the movie is fine. It's not Disney's best, but it's better than some people give it credit for.
[!]
Oh. And you should see the Bee Movie. It's about a human woman falling in love with a bee.
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. . .]
Why're you suggesting a movie about a bee?
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Fuck you.
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Watching an incredibly bad movie is an important experience! And the rest of my list are good movies.
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Willingly? And you still found someone that'd date you?
[HE'S JOKING]
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You should still watch the Bee movie and see it is overwrites those memories.
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After you get through this list, we can start on Studio Ghibli movies.
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