kaisou | video | un: kissmyash

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ash carbide

video | un: kissmyash

WHO: Ash + the app
WHERE: The app mostly
WHEN: June 16th
WHAT: Ash needs to explain something to the app
WARNINGS: Ash swears? Discussion of Krusnik and the child experimentation therein?

[When the video starts, Ash...is not in his RV and he does not look good at all. He frankly looks like he's been through literal hell and when he speaks he doesn't sound all that much better.]

I know I ain't got that many people on this stupid app who give a fuck, but people might've felt somethin' in the spirit realm a few days ago and this is just easier.

[A beat because really how do you explain this? Especially to people who probably don't care?]

If you were here in, what, March? You probably heard about Krusnik. If you weren't, they're a bunch of fucking assholes who take kids or people who won't be missed and do all sorts of fuckin' shit to them. The lab I was at was tryin' to get someone possessed by a god. I didn't get a god, but I got as close as they probably ever got before I got out. If you were ever wonderin' why I was always picking fights, having an asshole in your head that said "fight every week or you're gonna suffer" from the age of nine will do that to you.

[God he hates this. The recording actually cuts out here and doesn't cut back in for some time as he tries to make himself do this. He needs to do this. If he doesn't, he won't use the app ever again and he knows that about himself.]

Anyway, fucker's gone. I didn't pay the price an' he took offense. Opened a tear into his realm and nearly got me good, but...other people noticed and got me out. Ain't possessed anymore so hey, good news, it's possible to break that shit so long as you got a really good healer and people who can destroy spirits or whatever the fuck happened. [He knows but he's not outting Zero's abilities like that.] So. Yeah. If you felt something in the spirit realm a few days ago, that was me. Or, the asshole, I guess.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ash huffs.]

Yeah, already there on the frustrated for not knowin' shit. It's the stupidest stuff, too, like I can drive an' use a phone sure but fucking Disney movies? Missed most of that shit.

[That's not the biggest part of it but it is the simplest part.]

I can give you my Disney+ account info, and a list of recommended watches.

But I get what you mean. A lot of references go over my head, especially with kid stuff and pop culture.

I won't turn it down, man. I'm able to bullshit some of it as just "I'm grew up in Germany" but that only works if I'm the only one.

Mm, Disney is big enough where it probably has German versions anyway...

[A pause as he thinks things over and looks over the disney movies he's seen]

Alright, so Disney has been around a lot time and has a number of different eras. The classic era begins with Snow White and ends either with Sleeping Beauty or Robin Hood depending on how you break up the eras. From this era I'd say the only must-watches are either Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.

Otherwise you just need to know that Peter Pan is good besides a really racist scene, Pinocchio has a cricket conscience named Jiminy Cricket, Dumbo has a drunk scene, Cruella from 101 Dalmatians wants to make a coat out of puppies, the song the "Bear Necessities" from Jungle Book, and Disney's Robin Hood caused a lot of furry awakenings in people.

Is that what 101 Dalmatians is about?! And why would Robin Hood make furries?

Yeah. There's a lady named Cruella who kidnaps 99 dalmatian puppies to make a coat from them. The last two are the dalmatian parents who go to save them.

[As for the last question he's just gonna send Ash this image:]

[. . .]

Okay, yeah, I can see where the furries came from.

Mm. This is going to be a reoccurring theme in Disney. I wouldn't be surprised if Disney was a major contributor to the modern furry movement.

After the classic era, Disney had a bit of a "dark age". None of the animated films are particularly bad, in fact many of them are very good, but none of them were huge hits. I'd say this era starts with Winnie the Pooh and ended with Oliver and Company.

Winnie the Pooh is the only must-watch since that one gets referenced all the time. Other than that, The Rescuers is considered highly underrated, and Brave Little Toaster is much more traumatic than you'd expect.

Edited 2023-06-18 01:54 (UTC)

Watch Pooh, avoid the Toaster. Do I wanna know what that one's traumatizing?

You got enough things to cover in therapy, so no you don't.

Oh, this isn't disney but it came from the same era: watch the first Land Before Time. That was made by Don Bluth and he has lots of great films that I'd recommend, but that's easily his most famous one.

...But also please make sure it's the first one you're watching, as they made 13 sequel films.

Thirteen sequel films?! And this is before Marvel movies?

Yep, that's right.

They were kid movies about dinosaurs, so they were very popular among that demographic.

[...]

Speaking of you should probably figure out your favorite dinosaur. Apparently most people had a dinosaur phase when they were kids.

...why though?

I don't know, really.

I just know it's easier to give a dinosaur name if you get asked that. I usually say Triceratops because it's easy to remember.

..alright then.

[Weird. He'll probably pick that too.]

What else do I need to know about Disney?

Ah- right!

[Back on topic]

A lot more. After the dark age of disney, we hit the Disney Renaissance. This started with Little Mermaid and ended with Tarzan. This era is Disney is considered it's best and most famous, so I'll just go over each one.

The Little Mermaid is about a teenage mermaid who wants to see the surface world, so she makes a deal with a sea witch to gain legs in exchange for her voice. It's a fun movie, but a lot of people have criticisms about Ariel's choices.

Beauty and the Beast is a romance between a French inventor's daughter and a prince that's been turned into a Beast. People like to call it Stockholm Syndrome, but I don't really think so. Oh, and this also inspired not only furries but monsterfuckers.

Aladdin is about a street rat who uses wishes from a genie to pose as a prince to impress a princess. The Genie is voiced by an actor named Robin Williams who appeared in a lot of movies and was very famous.

The Lion King is a very loose adaptation of Hamlet using lions. It's considered one of disney's best, and also another source of furry awakenings.

Pocahontas is ... well... [He clears his throat] you should probably just use the "I'm German" excuse and avoid the discourse about this one for your own sake.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about a hunchback bellringer who was raised by an abusive church leader who wants to commit genocide against gypsies while also lusting for one. They tried to make it more kid-friendly by adding singing gargoyles: it does not work.

Hercules is a very liberal retelling of the myth of Hercules. It's a fun movie but don't bring it up with people who are into greek mythology unless you want to hear a very long rant about it.

Mulan is about a girl in china who disguises herself as a man to fight in her father's place during a war. Everyone knows the words to the song "I'll make a man out of you" and Li Shang is a bisexual icon.

Tarzan is about a boy who gets raised by gorillas in the jungles of Africa. It's fine, but the thing most people remember is how the musician Phil Collins went super hard on the soundtrack.

[he takes a breath]

Okay, that should be the whole renaissance.

Edited 2023-06-18 02:45 (UTC)

[Holy shit Jun.]

Yeah, the fucker was Greek so I'll just avoid that one in general. But like, I've read Hunchback. How the fuck did that one get made into an animated movie?!

Fair. [About the Greek one] And I have no idea really. It was quite a Choice.

After the Disney Renaissance, Disney floundered again for a number of years. There's a lot of movies, but I think you could skip most of them besides Emperor's New Groove because that is used for a lot of memes, and Lilo and Stitch I think you'll find relatable.

[A destructive lab creature trying to find their place in the world? Look it made Jun feel things okay]

And while disney was floundering, another animation company named Pixar started gaining traction. They have a lot of great movies, but I think the biggest ones to see is the Toy Story trilogy. If you watch any other Pixar movies, I recommend only doing it with people you don't mind seeing you cry.

...Oh, and it's a Dreamworks movie, but I'm required to recommend Prince of Egypt. It covers Moses's story in the Book of Exodus and if you don't like it I'm going to reassess our friendship.

Pixar movies are boyfriend only movies, got it.

[Since if it might make him cry, it's almost certainly going to make Elliot cry and frankly Ash is not strong enough to see one of his sorta-parents cry.]

And make sure to watch the Moses movie.

[Lets face it you probably just mention a Pixar movie to Elliot and he starts tearing up]

You have a boyfriend?

[This is new information to him!!]

Yes. You can believe in whatever religion you want or not believe in anything at all- I don't care about that. But that movie is mandatory viewing.

Gotcha.

[Oh, yeah, he hasn't told anyone outside of the Dads.]

Yeah, uh. Pat? We started dating in May. We're not shouting it from the rooftops but...yeah.

Oh, Fugo! I remember him from the mission.

Congratulations you two! I'm happy you have someone like that.

Yeah. Pretty sure I don't deserve him, though.

Of course you do, don't be stupid.

[Pretty much sums up what Ryouta regularly tells jun when he gets in such a state]

Anyway, we're now in the modern era of Disney. They currently only make movies in 3D animation, and there's plenty of good ones. The most famous one is Frozen which was extremely popular when it came out, to the point it gained it's fair number of vocal haters who are annoyed at how popular it is. Personally...I think the movie is fine. It's not Disney's best, but it's better than some people give it credit for.

[!]

Oh. And you should see the Bee Movie. It's about a human woman falling in love with a bee.

[Wow Jun, tell him how you really feel.

. . .]

Why're you suggesting a movie about a bee?

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