[Rose had mentioned that she didn't set out to be a conjurer, but this is... more than he expected. He gives her all the attention she deserves for this, and he is serious for once.]
Oh, petal...
[The nightmares still keep me up. That part is true. The killing, though, it bothers him less than he'd like. He still hates it on principle, but things like the other day, that's what makes him stop and look at himself and wonder if he's become what he despises after all.]
Adventuring makes you grow up fast, doesn't it?
[He sighs and runs his hand through his bangs.]
You're right. You're right, I just...
[Things have really come full circle. Wasn't he the one usually telling her not to feel bad?
What matters is what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night. Nothing more, nothing less.]
... I always was shite at following my own damned advice.
[He leans his head against the wall and-- thonk.]
This world's no place for people like us, Rose. Soldiers, survivors, whatever you want to call it. Being here isn't easy. I thought I'd be keeping a part of Eorzea alive with me despite what's apparently set to happen, but... maybe all I took back with me were the bad parts.
[It occurs to him in the silence after that thought that the problem might be him. It's a fault in him. How is he supposed to show mercy? He was never shown mercy when he needed it. He rolls his amber eyes to the ceiling.]
I think... I need to step back for a while. I've been fighting nonstop since I got here except for when I fell asleep that one time. I'm starting to see the value in a long nap, that's for certain.
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Oh, petal...
[The nightmares still keep me up. That part is true. The killing, though, it bothers him less than he'd like. He still hates it on principle, but things like the other day, that's what makes him stop and look at himself and wonder if he's become what he despises after all.]
Adventuring makes you grow up fast, doesn't it?
[He sighs and runs his hand through his bangs.]
You're right. You're right, I just...
[Things have really come full circle. Wasn't he the one usually telling her not to feel bad?
What matters is what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night. Nothing more, nothing less.]
... I always was shite at following my own damned advice.
[He leans his head against the wall and-- thonk.]
This world's no place for people like us, Rose. Soldiers, survivors, whatever you want to call it. Being here isn't easy. I thought I'd be keeping a part of Eorzea alive with me despite what's apparently set to happen, but... maybe all I took back with me were the bad parts.
[It occurs to him in the silence after that thought that the problem might be him. It's a fault in him. How is he supposed to show mercy? He was never shown mercy when he needed it. He rolls his amber eyes to the ceiling.]
I think... I need to step back for a while. I've been fighting nonstop since I got here except for when I fell asleep that one time. I'm starting to see the value in a long nap, that's for certain.