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Entry tags:
- eunie,
- jun kohinata,
- raiden ei,
- varian,
- vergil,
- vyne,
- xiao,
- yor forger,
- zhongli
video / un: yaksha
WHO: xiao & you.
WHERE: libra app.
WHEN: 22/4
WHAT: local cryptid spotted!!
WARNINGS: none atm.
[ the feed opens a young man frowning at the screen. while not wholly unknowledgable about technology he is by no means skilled in removing unwanted apps that frankly do not want to be deleted. it seems he has been fighting this fight for a hot minute and unknowingly hit the video function. xiao exhales, defeated, before blinking rapidly in surprise.
oh, this is on. well, it won't hurt to ask. ]
If there is anyone skilled in the removal of unwanted applications seek me out. [ how are they going to do that, xiao?? ] My own efforts in removing this have done very little.
[ maybe introducing himself will help facilitate the removal of this app? how else are people to seek him out. ]
My name is Xiao.
[ good job buddy, you tried. ]
WHERE: libra app.
WHEN: 22/4
WHAT: local cryptid spotted!!
WARNINGS: none atm.
[ the feed opens a young man frowning at the screen. while not wholly unknowledgable about technology he is by no means skilled in removing unwanted apps that frankly do not want to be deleted. it seems he has been fighting this fight for a hot minute and unknowingly hit the video function. xiao exhales, defeated, before blinking rapidly in surprise.
oh, this is on. well, it won't hurt to ask. ]
If there is anyone skilled in the removal of unwanted applications seek me out. [ how are they going to do that, xiao?? ] My own efforts in removing this have done very little.
[ maybe introducing himself will help facilitate the removal of this app? how else are people to seek him out. ]
My name is Xiao.
[ good job buddy, you tried. ]
no subject
I will treasure it, always.
[ xiao pockets the comb, sharp gaze catching the hand as it falls, some part of him wishes it hadn't, wishes it had reached out. neither of them are particularly good at physical affection, in truth, though there are few people in this world that xiao would gladly receive it from. there is safety in it, a protective warmth he has long missed, but xiao says nothing about it, only nods as zhongli suggests they sit. ]
I have wondered. [ xiao's footsteps are quick, quiet, moving to the nearby table. ] But if you do not wish to tell me, I will not press.
no subject
Xiao. I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but I could not. Your appearance here means that events have been set in motion that cannot be stopped or undone, but it also means I'm free from that contract... What I am about to tell you is common knowledge for those on the app, but speaking of it to those outside of Libra is to risk everything. Please mind that going forward.
[He folds his hands on the table.]
... People born on this world sometimes begin to remember events from their past lives.
[Reincarnation isn't exactly unheard of in their region of the world and could be considered part of the path to enlightenment, though it's far beyond immortal folks like them.]
This is because every soul on this planet once lived and died on another world. When that realm fell for whatever reason, its people were reborn here. This isn't widely known, however, and most people go their entire lives unaware of this... storied existence.
Remembering one's past outside of places like Kaisou is extremely rare. Those who recall on their own are usually recruited into one of two organizations, and they make a vow of secrecy to avoid putting others in danger. [He pauses.] I have heard stories of people driven mad by the memories they were given. This is why supervision and guidance are needed.
In Kaisou, strange events and recalling past lives are more common. You've noticed the lights in the sky at night, have you not? That is the Spirit Vein. Energy pours from it uncontrollably, and it afflicts the city's people with curses and blessings and occasionally opens portals to other realms.
You'll begin recalling your past life very soon if you haven't already.
[He hesitates again, because he isn't sure how to say this, exactly...]
That... is the difference between us.
You have had a long life compared to most, and you have been blessed by the wind. Yet for all this time, you have lived unburdened by the memories of a fallen world.
But I have carried my memories for an age. Long before we met, when I was still known as the right hand of an ambitious warlord, I remembered what I truly was.
no subject
it is none of that has his eyes widening, has his lips parting in a strangled sound as pain erupts from somewhere in his mind. zhongli's voice becoming almost like static buzzing away in his ears.
that... is the difference between us.
the memory flashes by quick, an image almost, zhongli but different. grander, a god among men. a war, death and decay, and the taste of dreams. he remembers falling, falling, falling, he remembers accepting his fate, at last, he can rest he can rejoin them. xiao remembers falling only to be enveloped in warmth, the smell of earth sharp in his nose, and a single thought, a single name: ]
Morax.
[ it comes unbidden and xiao barely registers it passing his lips as the pain fades and his breathing steadies, the name carved into the very marrow of his bones. he knows that name, he knows it as well as he knows his own, is that...? it's sorrow that finds him first, not shock or anger or hurt, but sorrow that writes itself plainly upon his face. xiao's hand falls and he looks over at zhongli, over at his father, his friend, and he feels his eyes sting with tears. ]
no subject
A part of him will always respond to that name. No matter how many names Zhongli takes, that one is written somewhere in his stone heart. If Xiao were to call for him even now, two thousand years into this world's Gregorian calendar, Morax would answer without hesitation.
Something in Zhongli quakes, a fracturing in his chest, at the threat of his son's tears.
He can't be sure of what Xiao remembers. He decides it doesn't matter. It's half a step to round the bistro table they'd taken over and pull Xiao into a tight hug against him.]
I'm here.
[He found Xiao as fast as he could, though it feels like it's never soon enough... He was too late to save him from the cruelness of the court, the severity of being born a blade. Yet without the weight of countless corrupted souls attempting to snuff out Xiao's light, Zhongli was able to teach him to be something else. Not a blade, but a person. A 'distinguished young man', as his partner had called him once...
Xiao deserves to be as free as the wind he rode on. He deserves to dance to whatever music he hears in his heart.
Though this was never part of Rex Lapis's contract with the adepti, he considers it to be the fine print on his copy of such a contract. A clause for his eyes only, penned in ink at the midnight hour.
I must not abandon them.
There is no Liyue Harbor here, no trial to deal with the resurrection of an old grudge. So it's as simple as this: if his adepti must lean on someone else, let it be this old mountain.]
no subject
Fùqīn, I am sorry. [ he did no wrong, he could not have known, yet he feels compelled to apologise regardless, feels complelled to make up for being aware. ] I did not know.
[ his mind feels fractured, fuzzy, memories blurring and mixing together into a confusing soup. all at once he feels terrible for every doubt, for every frustration that had come over the years of non-answers. how could he have said anything? how could he have told him then? yet a part of him wishes he had, wishes xiao could have been there to share in burdens as he had done for xiao for so many years. is it unfair, he thinks, that zhongli had to suffer in silence. unfair.
at least, now, he does not have to suffer the burden of those memories alone anymore. at least, finally, the distance between them has been bridged. ]
All this time... [ xiao shakes his head, fingers tightening around the fabric of the other's coat. ] I am sorry.
no subject
I kept it from you. You had no way of knowing.
[He was not a proud god. Not by any means. He could deal with the salt god's followers believing that he'd killed gods indiscriminately, he could deal with people calling him all sorts of names, hell-- he even dealt with people making attempts on his life while he worked for the Order. But he couldn't deal with Xiao bearing the burden of his karma in a second life, nor could he bear the thought of Xiao being left alone because Zhongli tried to awaken him himself and screwed it up somehow.
So he'd simply raised Xiao the best he could. Blind to his heritage, dropping hints here and there but never telling him the full truth of it, or that they had met once long ago when Xiao was enslaved by something terrible.]
Do not blame yourself for this. It was my choice.
[He's prepared to bear the consequences of that, if necessary. But if Xiao will let him, he'll carefully run his fingers through his hair, like a parent comforting his child during a storm.]
I wanted you to live your life unburdened by a duty I have not asked you to perform.
[And, more than that...]
We have made many memories in this life. Watching you grow has been my greatest joy, and an honor. I dared not ask you for anything else, only that which you give freely...
no subject
[ it is that thought that he keeps circling back on, that thought brings forth hot tears to sting his eyes. after everything that happened before they parted, to know the weight of his previous life sat heavily on his shoulders, it is almost too much for xiao to bare. he does not stop the fingers running through his hair, soothing that storm raging in his mind and in his chest, and he exhales a noise almost akin to a sob.
the motions work, slowly but surely, his grip loosening by increments until his breathing steadies into something free from the grip of sorrow and half-remembered memories. ]
I would give you all, for all that you have given me. [ his blood, his life, anything that zhongli could feasibly need. ] Now that I am here, will you allow me to stay at your side?
[ it is a selfish request, but one that xiao makes regardless in the hope to fill the hollow space in his chest. it has been too long, after all, and xiao has missed his company, his presence. the old mountain of which he would perch and rest when his wings grew tired. who would smile and tell him stories, who listen dutifully as xiao brought a flute to his lips. ]
no subject
If I have suffered, it was due to the consequences of my own actions. But I was not alone in truth. You have been the shadow at my side for an age, and I have not taken that for granted.
[Xiao can't see it, but Zhongli's expression turns terribly vulnerable at that question. He closes his eyes for a moment.]
... It will be more dangerous than you know.
[But he can't send Xiao away now, and he can keep a better eye on him if he's close.]
Still... Your eyes have been opened, and the truth is now yours to behold.
If you feel you have the inclination to entertain an old man's nostalgia, then by all means, do as you wish. I'll not send you away, nor will I force you to stay.
no subject
[ danger is an old friend, a ghost that haunts their steps, something xiao has always been hand in hand with no matter where they traveled. there was always the danger of being found out, of being hunted, of being used by nefarious types, as the world around them shifted and grew and they did not. is it truly more dangerous now than it has ever been? perhaps as they no longer have the security of leaving when suspicions arrive, but with all that everything else that happens in this city who would pay attention to a pair such as them? ]
You have spent too many years out of my reach, I don't want to let you slip through my fingers again. [ his voice is small, stubborn, and painfully vunerable. his ability to remain calm, collected, and almost aloof utterly destroyed in the face of these truths, in the face of zhongli's arms around him. he has missed this warm feeling in his chest, the comfort his presence brings. ] You will not shake me this time.
no subject
He gives a deep sigh, like the low rumble of a mountain.]
Then we will face it together.
[He remembers little hands learning how to braid his hair, and part of him can't help but give in.]
... When you are ready, I will tell you the truth of what happened the day I sent you away.
[Xiao knows the pieces. Azhdaha lost his grip on reality, Zhongli had to restrain him, then Azhdaha disappeared and Zhongli said that he sealed him... But there is more to the story, because after that, Zhongli was firm about no longer traveling together.]
It doesn't have to be tonight. [Even he can recognize that Xiao has gone through a lot in the last ten minutes.] But only then can you understand the scope of what we are tangled up in.
no subject
I want to know. [ would it not be better to know now? even with all that he has experienced in the last ten minutes? even with the flashes of things he both does and does not recognize. ] I always suspected there was more to the story than you told me, if you would tell it now I will listen.
[ no matter what zhongli has to tell him. ]
no subject
There was. [He isn't happy about it.] But... very well. As long as you're sure.
[Xiao has already been told a lot of new information tonight, but this... this is probably less surprising than the past life thing, if he's being honest. Xiao is a clever young man, and he's smart. Zhongli knows he could never truly hide anything from him.]
When Azhdaha began to lose himself, I sent you away, hoping to take care of the matter as I had in my past life. But I... wasn't strong enough. We struggled for what must have been years. At the end of it, the valley was nearly destroyed, and he showed no signs of slowing down. Even in that other life it took the limits of my power to seal him, and it was only temporary at best.
I knew I couldn't do it alone. I could neither seal him away, nor could I bear to kill him. So I sought an alternative.
... There is a group called the Black Order. They're one of the two organizations I mentioned that takes in those who have begun to remember their past lives. Of course, when we first awoke, there was no such option for us. I came to know about them through a friend of mine who hadn't quite divined their purpose, but he knew they were exceptionally powerful.
I approached them and made a contract. It was a simple one: my services in exchange for sealing Azhdaha's powers and memories for a thousand years. In this way, I could buy time—time to get stronger, or perhaps find an alternative to sealing him at all. In the meantime, Azhdaha can live a peaceful life, even if he doesn't remember us.
The Black Order's work is not always palatable. Their priority is to protect the Spirit Realm from interlopers at any cost, even that of innocents. [He pauses.] They admire the sharpest tools in their possession and may disregard their free will. For that reason alone, I sought to hide you from their gaze.
But now you know who you truly are, and soon you will remember everything.
[He closes his eyes for a moment.]
... Another life, another contract. Yet erosion took him from us again. Fate truly is unkind.
no subject
a part of him wishes he could be angry, that he would feel something other than resignation at the story. his father pushed him away to protect him, formed a contract with an organization in the hopes to find some way of saving azhdaha from what torments his mind. anger is not what finds xiao in this moment, it is not what sits so heavily in his chest that it aches. ]
You have only ever sought to protect me, to protect Azdaha. [ his eyes flutter open as zhongli's close. ] You take on too much yourself, carry too much weight on your shoulders.
What is done is done, I will not fault you for it. [ while he has every right to be angry, to be upset, xiao truly cannot find it in himself to do so. not when he has his father back in his life properly once again. ] I ask only one thing of you, Morax. Lean on me not only as your son, but as your blade. Do not take so much yourself, call on me, allow me to help where I could not before. Please.
no subject
It weighs as it should.
[The old dragon's aware that he's a bit stubborn, but there are some things that he won't budge on. As ever.]
You are more than a weapon, Xiao. You are your own person, with your own road ahead of you and your own decisions to make.
[His gaze softens.]
... But you'll always be my son. You're free of everything else.
[In this moment, he feels some frustration with Morax. For not making his feelings known, for not reinforcing that he wanted Xiao to find his own path.
He breathes out slowly, mostly through his teeth, as he thinks again of this contract and how he can't escape it. He can't let Xiao try to interfere either, or not even gods know what would happen to him...
One day he'll have to reckon with the contract-- either its ending naturally by the date stipulated on it, or because he's finally grown in power enough to break it himself.]
I said that we would face whatever happens together. There is nothing that can be done for me at present, but if that changes... I will let you know.
[That's the best he can do right now.]